THERE IS JUST ONE THING REALLY BUGGING ME.

How Do They Make Pringles From Rice?
To Me It Seems Impossible - Rice Into A Crisp?
Explain It To Me, Because Rice Always Seems Very Against Changing Form.
It's One Of Many Reasons I've Never Actually Eaten Rice.
At Least, Not In Its Non-Pringle Form.
So, Answers On A Postcard, Because I Am Stumped.

Today's Song Is An Absolute Corker, And Its The First Smiths Song I Feel I Can Post On Here, Because It's Only Partially A Smiths Song.
It's The Sandie Shaw Version Of 'Hand In Glove' - It's Basically The Smiths Without Morrissey.
I Saw The Top Of The Pops Performance Of It And Was Just In Awe, Johnny Marr Always Looks Kool But In That Performance He Really Shines, YouTube It.
I Would Put The Video Here But I Want You To Hear The Song More Than Anything.

The Smiths (Ft. Sandie Shaw) - Hand In Glove


This Past Week Has Been Well Strange.
Thursday I Think I Went To Fleet, Which Was Hilarious.
As Always Murtha Said I Wouldn't Get Into Jaxx Because Of How I Was Dressed.
I Looked Bloody Marvellous - Purple Cardigan Done Up To Perfection, Grey T-Shirt, CLEAN SHOES.
I Just Very Rarely Wear Shirts.
I Tried My One Shirt On Today And Looked Almost Too Respectable.
But Sort Of, 'I Produced Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man's EP, Let's Have A Chat' Respectable, If You Know What I Mean.
BUT ANYWAY YEAH I GOT TRASHED.
I Remember Dancing In A Way That I Class As Sort Of 'Two-Step Metal', But Others Described As 'Gettin' Low, In The Lil Jon Sense.'
Whenever I Dance It Is Ironic.
But Irony And Sarcasm Are Lost On Men With Fully Developed Shoulders And Polo Shirts.
I Spent All My Money, And I Mean All My Money, On Vodka And Cokes.
I Looked Like A Superstar I'm Sure, Sitting At The Bar, Performing 'The Wink And The Gun' At Strangers.
No, It's Not Sexual, It Is This:



And I'm Not Going To Lie, I Looked Almost Exactly Like Will Smith In That Picture.
People Loved It.
My Skool Friend Mitch, Who I Haven't Seen In Years, Got An Eyeful Of My Wink And Gun.
He Bloody Loved It.
The Three Or Four Women He Was With Did Not.

Then In The Taxi On The Way Home The Driver Was A Bellend About Driving Us Home (To Be Fair I Hate My Responsibilities Too, And By That I Mean 'Waking Up And Going To College') So We All Muttered Different Insults Under Our Breath.
I Got Out On The Wrong Side Of Farnborough, Because I Wanted To Walk Home From Fleet And Thought That Would Do.
It Was Freezing, But I Also Didn't Have Enough Money To Go Any Further And I Hate To Be A Bother.

TO BE HONEST, I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT WEEK THIS WAS, BUT I HAVEN'T CHRONICLED IT YET SO IT MUST HAVE BEEN LAST THURSDAY, AND IF IT WAS THIS HAS GONE EVER SO SLOWLY.

OH NO WAIT IT WAS THE THURSDAY BEFORE, COS REN WAS THERE AND LAST WEEK SHE WAS IN ICELAND.

OKAY GOOD, I'M GLAD THAT'S SORTED OUT.

THIS Weekend Was Really Odd.
Friday We Went To A Pub In Farnham, I Didn't Much Like It There, It Was Very Dingy And Full Of Old People.
Two Actual Punks Were Stood Behind Me And Jonny At The Bar, And I Heard What They Were Saying To Each Other.
It Was Something Like 'Look At These Young People, Look At His Shoes!'.
I Immediately Turned Round And Went 'Cheers' And Looked One Of Them In The Eye.
I Then Realised That Punks Aren't Actually Afraid Of Confrontation.
They LOVE It, In Fact.
Luckily Jonny Had Got His Drink At That Second, And Grabbed Me By The Shoulder And Said 'Come On My Luvverrrr.'
They Looked Pissed That We'd Implied A Capability Of Homosexuality Of Ourselves.
Clearly Nazi Punks, Then...

Some Gurl From My New Psychology Class Was There, And Because I'm Yet To Know Anyone In My Psychology Class I Kind Of Didn't Believe She Knew Who I Was, Because I Didn't Know Who She Was At All.
She Stroked My Face Which Was Really Weird, I Don't Stroke The Faces Of People I Know Well, Let Alone Strangers.
I Was Definitely Freaked Out.
But Then There Was A Dwarf.
I Told My Mum I Saw A Midget And She Was Like 'Do You Mean Midget Or Dwarf? Because A Midget Is Just A Really Small Person, And A Dwarf Is Noticeably Different.'
But This Was A Dwarf.
I Kept Drunkenly Making The Joke Where You Go 'Oh Guys Look, There's The Midget Again' And Just Pointing At People Of Average Height.
I Found It Absolutely Hilarious.
I Was Alone In This Feeling.

Then Saturday We Got Told There Was A Warehouse Party In Woking.
We All Drove To Woking.
There Was No Warehouse Party.
There Were About Two Hundred Scene Kids Stood Outside A Warehouse, Oh Yeah, There Was That, But Everyone Was Too Afraid To Go In To The Warehouse.
Apparently One Of The Kids Who Didn't Like Us Because We Wore Cardigans And Didn't Like Bands With Names Like 'Open The Skies' And 'XEDGEXFORXLIFEX' Rang The Police On His Own Party.
Hilarious.

So We Just Had Some Macdonald's And Drove Home.
The Drive Was Fun Though.
There Was A Man In A Bush On A Road With No Lights.
Was Well Odd.

However, When I Got In I Had A Really Good Evening.
I Watched '100 Greatest Stand Ups' And Talked To Chess And Lucy For About Three Hours, Which Concluded With A Phone Call.
I Don't Even Think They Were Drunk, Which Actually Makes It Better In My Eyes, They Were Really Funny And Asked Me Some Really Odd Questions.
Was Good Stuff Though.

And Yesterday I Bonded With My Psychology Class By Laughing At My Teacher's Exposed Underwear.
Enough Said.

DOWNLOAD THAT SONG.

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