Sometimes The Titles Of These Mean Something, Sometimes They're Just A Nice Lyric.
I Like That Lyric A Bit.
Of Course, In The Original Patrick Wolf Context It Means Something Beautiful And Romantic, But At This Point For Me, I Have Been Invited To College And Keep Waking Up About Four Hours Late For It.
I Wish That Was A Joke, I Woke Up At Quarter To Twelve Today, That Lost Hour Wasn't Lost On Me, Bad Times.
I'd Really Hoped This Week Was A Fresh Start N'All. Haha.
(Let's Go) Get Lost (Live At Motel Mozaique) - Patrick Wolf
Also, That Song Has A Bit Of Patrick Wolf Just Talking.
He Acts As A Salesman But It Still Sounds Really Beautiful...I Don't Care How Lame That Is, I'm A Lame Person Probably.
So I Haven't Written In A Week, I'm Sorry For That, Nothing's Inspired Me In Ages, But Upon Reflection There's Been More Than Enough To Write About.
Tuesday I Went To College, And As Always When I'm There, Teachers Were Amazed.
And I Wish That Was In A 'Ahh Yeah, Ben Turned Up Muthafuckah, Let's Burn This Place Down In Ecstasy' Way, But It Wasn't.
I Kind Of Wish I Had The Motivation To Go, But I'm Never Given A Chance To Slip Back Into An Expected Routine, What With All The Handouts And Head Shakes, So I Probably Never Will.
I Just Need A Time Out Really, Two Weeks To Sleep And Get Really Hungover, Haha.
Wednesday I Had My Interview For Westminster University.
That Day Was A Joke.
As Always I Started The Uni Day Off With A Bit Of 'Reel Around The Fountain' On The Train.
It Reminds Me Of Coming Out Of LCC And Waiting To Meet Dylan Sat Between These Two Old Ladies Who Shared Mints And Conversation Over Me.
It Was Really Really Funny For Some Reason, And I Had A Sort Of, Out Of Body Experience To Gain The True Comedic Value In The Moment - Just Me In All Grey Smiling Sat Between Two Old Ladies, I Was A Post-Punk Paddington Bear.
But Yeah, I Got The Quarter Past Train, And My Interview Was At Two.
PLENTY OF TIME, SURELY.
You Would Think So, But Harrow, Where Westminster University Is, Is Nearer Watford Than Waterloo.
And That's Not A Clever Play On Words, The Train On The Opposite Tracks When I Eventually Got There Was Going To Watford.
I Got To The Station About Ten Minutes Past Two O'Clock, Which Basically Meant I Was Fucked.
But I Asked A Lady Where The Uni Was, And Walked Really Fast, And Was There By Quarter Past.
THEN I Was At The Wrong Entrance, And Had To Walk Around Finding The Right One.
THEN They'd Left Without Me, So I Had To Find The Room They Were In.
The Lift Experience Was Really Funny, It Was Basically Full And I Was Trapped In The Back Right Corner (The Opposite Corner To The Buttons), And I Asked A Guy If He Could 'Push The Button That Led To The Third Floor.'
It Was All Very Poorly Worded.
He Stared At Me After Pressing The Button, And I Felt Slightly Violated.
Everyone In That Lift Was Definitely Undressing Me With Their Eyes.
'You're Not From Watford, Can I See Under Your Shirt?' Their Eyes SCREAMED At Me.
Luckily The Third Floor Was The First Stop, So I Got Out Before They Could Exert Their Zombie-Like Power On My Weak Cotton Attire.
I Walked Up And Down This Hall For Ages, Looking For Room 315.
The Numbered Rooms Jumped From 314 To 316, But They Weren't All Odd - It Went 310, 311, 312, 313, 314, 316, 317...
I Felt Led On.
So, I Knocked On 316 And Asked The Bearded Henry VIIIth Lookalike Where 315 Was.
'THIS Is Room 315! What's Your Name Then?'
'Are You Sure This Is Room 315? The Door Says 316, This Place Is Terribly Confusing.'
I Find Myself Saying Words Like 'Terribly' In Situations Where I Have To Break The Ice.
So I Sat Down And Apologised For My Lateness.
Although, Kanye Was Right:
'Y'all Should Be Honoured By My Lateness, That I'd Even Turn Up For This Fake...'
There Was This One Gurl Who Spoke Exactly Like The Bullied Gurl From 'Donnie Darko.'
Every Time She Spoke All I Could Hear In My Head Was 'SHUT UP! SHUT UP!'.
In My Head I Drifted Off Into A World Where I Was Donnie Darko, And She Had A Notebook Dedicated To Me, And Then I Started To Laugh A Bit And The Homosexual Northern Guy Looked At Me For A Really Long Time.
The First Question I Got Asked Was 'What Is Journalism?'.
My Answer Made The Fat Nerd Guy (Who I Have Another Anecdote About Later) Roll His Eyes.
I Was All 'I Think It's An Art Form Sometimes. I Don't Mean Trevor Macdonald Is A Painter, But Like, It Can Inspire People. For Me People Like Jon Savage And John Peel Are Good Examples Of This, And By 'Inspire' I Don't Necessarily Mean It'll Make A Person Write, Or Present A Radio Show, But It Could Put Across What They're Reporting On In An Inspiring Way, Which Could Make People Go And Get Involved In Whatever That Might Be.'
The Presenter Stared At Me.
I Could Tell He Was A Very 'Science' Person As Soon As I'd Rambled On About Punk And Jon Savage For A Little Bit Too Long, And Realised I Now Had To Approach The Thing In A Very Clinical Way.
The Fat Nerd Guy's Answer Was Basically A Really Annoying Way Of Saying 'Journalists Tell People What Goes On In The World.'
Throughout The Entire Interview I Kept Looking Around At Everyone Making Up A Back Story For Them.
There Was A Gurl Who Had No Skin Showing, Because She Was Pierced That Much.
One Of Her Questions Was 'Is This Place Diverse, Cos I Got Told College Would Be But There Was Nobody Like Me There.'
In My Head I Went:
'SHE'S A
PUNK PUNK
PUNK ROCKUH
PUNK PUNK
PUNK ROCKAH
SHE'S A
PUNK PUNK
PUNK ROCKAHHHHHHHH.'
Again, I Couldn't Hold In The Laughter.
There Was Another Gurl Who Was From East London.
She Was My Favourite, I Reckon.
When Asked What Story She Would Write About If Given A Front Page To Fill, She Said She'd Talk About All The Knife Crimes That Go Unreported, Cos 'My Friend Got Stabbed And Like, Didn't Report It Cos He Wanted To Get His Family Involved Instead, Get Some Proper Justice, You Know?'
And I Wish I Was Making That Up, But She Genuinely Said That.
She'd Brought Her Friend Along For Moral Support As Well, And She Was Literally The Funniest Person I've Ever Seen.
She Looked Like Vicky Pollard, If Vicky Pollard Sniffed Loads Of Glue And Ate More Pork Scratchings.
I Really Hate 'Little Britain', Catchphrase-Based Sketch Shows Are Kind Of Weak, But She Really Did Look Like That.
So Anyway, After All That We Went On A Tour.
I Opened The Door For The Fat Nerdy Guy A Few Times, And He Just Stared At Me Like We Were In Direct Competition And He Had His Eyes On The Prize.
I Felt That Was A Bit Rude.
So I Asked Him This:
'Were You In Any Of The Harry Potter Films?'
'No?'
'Oh Right, You Look Like Someone I Saw In One Of Them.'
The Homosexual Northern Guy Got My Dig (He Did The Widening Of The Eyes People Do When They Catch On To A Corker, Yes, I Said Corker) And Laughed Quite A Lot.
This Guy Looked EXACTLY Like Crabbe Or Goyle, Which To Me Was Really Funny, And Clearly To The Northern Guy Also.
After All That I Got The Train Home.
I Listened To Mostly Joy Division, It Had Been A Black Day.
On The Main Train Home I Was Forced To Sit Next To This Old Man.
At First He Looked Really Normal Businessman-Like, But I Looked A Bit Closer And He Was Writing A Poem.
Not A List, A Poem.
It Was Really Weird, And It Instantly Made Me Like Him.
I Had A Read And It Was Good Stuff.
I Gave Him A Bit More Space, Prior To All Of This I'd Been Rather Selfish With My Corner.
We Never Spoke But It Affected Me A Bit, The Idea That A Guy In A Suit Can Still Be Creative.
Nice.
Then Thursday Was The First Of The Four Hour Lie In Phenomenon.
I Went In For Music Tech At Least.
Friday I Similarly Didn't Go In.
In The Evening I Went To See Lady And The Lost Boys Though, Which Was Good, I Think.
Something Happened And I Decided I'd Drink Myself Into Toxicity.
Which Actually Made Me Really Enjoy Myself, If Ever There Was An Advert For Absolute Binge Drinking I Am It.
Becca Drove Me And Jonny There Which Was Rad, I Was DJ And Cranked Out The Classics (5ive's 'If You're Getting Down', But Most Importantly Sisqo's 'The Thong Song').
The First Band On Actually SUCKED, Like, They Were A Soundscape Band.
Me And Becca Stood There, And I Genuinely Thought The Rest Of My Life Was Going To Be That Single Chord.
We Left And Just Sat About For A Bit, Using 'Code.'
You'll Never Know What It Is.
Then I Think Lady And The Lost Boys Were On, They Were Really Great, Although There Was A Sense Of Despair Which I Couldn't Put My Finger On.
I Don't Remember Coming Home, Except For Jumping Out Of Becca's Car At The Traffic Lights, Haha.
I Hope I Wasn't A Problem.
I Spent All My Money On Drink.
And About Half An Hour Ago, When Me And Billy Were Going To MacDonald's, A Really Nice Thing Happened, It's The First Thing That's Made Me Feel Like This For Aaaaaages.
I Exaggerate, But It Was Nice.
Here Is Another Song:
Catch - The Cure
It's Lush, Trust Me, It'll Cheer You Up.
PHWOAR.
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Monday 31 March 2008
Monday 24 March 2008
I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPINESS MEANS, BUT I LOOK IN YOUR EYES AND I KNOW THAT IT ISN'T THIS.
Hooray For B-Sides I Say.
I Found A Treasure Chest (Read 'Website') Of Smiths B-Sides About A Week Ago.
All The Stuff With Sandie Shaw And This Absolute Tune Called 'Jeane.'
I'd Load It Up But I've Decided None Of You Have My Love Of Music.
Nobody Ever Talks To Me About Music Any More, In The Immortal Words Of Fred Durst:
'It's All About The 'He Says She Says' Bullshit.'
And I Know, I Know, We're Teenagers, Love Starved Teenagers Like The Ones Off Of The Telly, But It's All Temporary, These People We Ache Over Will Be Little More Than A Second's Worth Of A Hovered Mouse On 'Friends Reunited' In Ten Year's Time When Nostalgia Sets In, Oh What A Terrible Thing...
BUT YEAH, MORE MUSIC TALK.
To Be Honest I Only Crave It Because I Have Brilliant Iggy Pop Related Anecdotes...
The Last Week Or So Has Been Alright.
Today I Had Band Practice*, Watched 'Control' For The Fifth Time In A Month And Went For A Walk Listening To 'Closer', Almost Entirely Sure I Was 2008's Answer To Ian Curtis.
Thursday Night Was A Bit Of Fun, I Got Hit On In The Queue To Jaxx (I Know, I Know, It's A Terrible Place, I Should Be At The Hacienda Or Something).
This Was Probably Down To My Wildly Apologetic Nature - People Pushed And Pushed And I Probably Touched More Than A Few Breasts.
A Masculine Man Would've Gone 'WAAAYYYY' Or Something, But I Apologised Profusely, Isn't It An Actual Thing That Japanese Businessmen Use The Rush Hour Traffic To Touch Up Women?
And If You Think I've Disgracefully Imagined That, CLICK HERE.
When We Eventually Got In (Partially Down To Me Looking A Bit Like A Gurl, Probably) Me And Billy Had A Dance To T-Pain, And Then We All Just Went And Got Fucked In The Room That Plays Cheesy Music.
Some People Call It 'The Cheese Room'.
I Refuse To, Because It Makes It Sound Like You Regularly Go There, And, Yet Again I REFUSE To Say I'm A Regular At A Place Where People Who Do Cocaine Do Cocaine Because They Think It's Edgy.
If I Did Cocaine It'd Be Edgy, But When Meatheads Come Out Of Cubicles Looking Angry Touching Their Noses, It Just Isn't.
So Yeah We Just Got Wasted Listening To The Nolan Sisters And Brutally Dancing.
And This Time I Mean ACTUALLY Brutally, I Got Headbutted Like Nine Times.
Then I Walked Home From The Plough And Horses Again, I Like That Walk A Lot, It Takes Like Forty Minutes And You Can Hear The Birds Waking Up Because Their Body Clocks Have Been Fucked By Pollution.
If There Was Ever A Rage Against The Machine Lyric, There It Is...
Friday Was A Much More Low Key Deal.
It Was Full Of Things I Proper Didn't Care About.
Nice.
Saturday Was Loads Better.
I Walked Into Town To Get Some Beer (I Had Very Little Money And Was Going Out In The Evening, So Figured I Should Get Pretty Drunk Before I Went).
Then I Came Home, Drank Beer And Watched 'Day Of The Dead.'
It's This Really Old Hilariously Depressing Zombie Movie.
There's A Feel Of Doom Running Throughout, And All The Characters Are Really One Dimensional.
There's The 'Hopeful Scientists', 'The Masculine As Army Men' And 'The 'I Don't Give A Fuck What Happens, While We're In This Bunker I Am Getting Wasted' Wasters.'
And The Army Men Threaten The One Woman With Rape And Violence, And Pretty Much Threaten Everyone Else With Violence.
At The End The Main Target Of Their Bullying Goes Out Of The Bunker And Lets All The Zombies In, As He's About To Die Of Blood Loss.
The Single Punk Rock Moment In The Film Is Where The Army Leader Is Getting Ripped Apart By Zombies, And He's Just Screaming 'CHOKE ON IT, CHOKE ON ITTTTTT!', Talking About His Flesh, Basically.
I Chose To Overlook The Obvious Sexual Connotations There, And Saw It As Absolutely Genius.
Jonny Says That When Faced With A Zombie, He'd Appeal To It's Sexual Drive.
Everyone Knows That Zombies Are Powered By Pure Instinct, And Sex Drive Is, Apparently, A Huge Part Of Your Instincts.
So It'd Probably Work.
I Said That I'd Flash Them.
I Think That My Last Move Must Be Completely Unusual Of Me.
And Also, Because Everybody Is So Appalled By The Sight Of Me I Might Not Even Get Eaten.
And I Know Exactly What You're Thinking.
'You've Got Too Much Time On Your Hands Mate.'
And You'd Be Right.
Saturday Night Was Good Stuff Though.
We Went Out For Chess' Birthday To A Bar In Reading.
The Maccabees Were DJing But We Didn't See Them, The Last Train Was Quite Early And I Hadn't Nicked Enough Money Off Of My Mum For A Taxi.
Instead We Drank A Lot Of Wine And Had Some Chats.
I Kicked A Glass Over In A Rage At Harriet.
I Then Immediately Felt Terrible, And Picked Up All The Glass.
I Only Cut The Backs Of My Hands, Which Is Good....?
Truth Be Told, I Was Pretty Much Trashed.
I Kept Hi5ing Chess, But I Don't Remember What For.
And The Barman Was Hitting On Me.
He Had A Misfits Shirt.
I Think Later In The Night I Actually Said 'Man, The Misfits Have Some Hits.'
Which They Don't, Really.
Not Post-Danzig.
Not At All.
Danzig, For Me, WAS The Misfits.
Then Sunday I Slept Pretty Much All Day.
Sometimes I Wish I Could Do That Every Day, My Life In My Dreams Is So Much More Realistic In It's Dealing Out Of Fair Shares.
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*We're Awesome.
I Found A Treasure Chest (Read 'Website') Of Smiths B-Sides About A Week Ago.
All The Stuff With Sandie Shaw And This Absolute Tune Called 'Jeane.'
I'd Load It Up But I've Decided None Of You Have My Love Of Music.
Nobody Ever Talks To Me About Music Any More, In The Immortal Words Of Fred Durst:
'It's All About The 'He Says She Says' Bullshit.'
And I Know, I Know, We're Teenagers, Love Starved Teenagers Like The Ones Off Of The Telly, But It's All Temporary, These People We Ache Over Will Be Little More Than A Second's Worth Of A Hovered Mouse On 'Friends Reunited' In Ten Year's Time When Nostalgia Sets In, Oh What A Terrible Thing...
BUT YEAH, MORE MUSIC TALK.
To Be Honest I Only Crave It Because I Have Brilliant Iggy Pop Related Anecdotes...
The Last Week Or So Has Been Alright.
Today I Had Band Practice*, Watched 'Control' For The Fifth Time In A Month And Went For A Walk Listening To 'Closer', Almost Entirely Sure I Was 2008's Answer To Ian Curtis.
Thursday Night Was A Bit Of Fun, I Got Hit On In The Queue To Jaxx (I Know, I Know, It's A Terrible Place, I Should Be At The Hacienda Or Something).
This Was Probably Down To My Wildly Apologetic Nature - People Pushed And Pushed And I Probably Touched More Than A Few Breasts.
A Masculine Man Would've Gone 'WAAAYYYY' Or Something, But I Apologised Profusely, Isn't It An Actual Thing That Japanese Businessmen Use The Rush Hour Traffic To Touch Up Women?
And If You Think I've Disgracefully Imagined That, CLICK HERE.
When We Eventually Got In (Partially Down To Me Looking A Bit Like A Gurl, Probably) Me And Billy Had A Dance To T-Pain, And Then We All Just Went And Got Fucked In The Room That Plays Cheesy Music.
Some People Call It 'The Cheese Room'.
I Refuse To, Because It Makes It Sound Like You Regularly Go There, And, Yet Again I REFUSE To Say I'm A Regular At A Place Where People Who Do Cocaine Do Cocaine Because They Think It's Edgy.
If I Did Cocaine It'd Be Edgy, But When Meatheads Come Out Of Cubicles Looking Angry Touching Their Noses, It Just Isn't.
So Yeah We Just Got Wasted Listening To The Nolan Sisters And Brutally Dancing.
And This Time I Mean ACTUALLY Brutally, I Got Headbutted Like Nine Times.
Then I Walked Home From The Plough And Horses Again, I Like That Walk A Lot, It Takes Like Forty Minutes And You Can Hear The Birds Waking Up Because Their Body Clocks Have Been Fucked By Pollution.
If There Was Ever A Rage Against The Machine Lyric, There It Is...
Friday Was A Much More Low Key Deal.
It Was Full Of Things I Proper Didn't Care About.
Nice.
Saturday Was Loads Better.
I Walked Into Town To Get Some Beer (I Had Very Little Money And Was Going Out In The Evening, So Figured I Should Get Pretty Drunk Before I Went).
Then I Came Home, Drank Beer And Watched 'Day Of The Dead.'
It's This Really Old Hilariously Depressing Zombie Movie.
There's A Feel Of Doom Running Throughout, And All The Characters Are Really One Dimensional.
There's The 'Hopeful Scientists', 'The Masculine As Army Men' And 'The 'I Don't Give A Fuck What Happens, While We're In This Bunker I Am Getting Wasted' Wasters.'
And The Army Men Threaten The One Woman With Rape And Violence, And Pretty Much Threaten Everyone Else With Violence.
At The End The Main Target Of Their Bullying Goes Out Of The Bunker And Lets All The Zombies In, As He's About To Die Of Blood Loss.
The Single Punk Rock Moment In The Film Is Where The Army Leader Is Getting Ripped Apart By Zombies, And He's Just Screaming 'CHOKE ON IT, CHOKE ON ITTTTTT!', Talking About His Flesh, Basically.
I Chose To Overlook The Obvious Sexual Connotations There, And Saw It As Absolutely Genius.
Jonny Says That When Faced With A Zombie, He'd Appeal To It's Sexual Drive.
Everyone Knows That Zombies Are Powered By Pure Instinct, And Sex Drive Is, Apparently, A Huge Part Of Your Instincts.
So It'd Probably Work.
I Said That I'd Flash Them.
I Think That My Last Move Must Be Completely Unusual Of Me.
And Also, Because Everybody Is So Appalled By The Sight Of Me I Might Not Even Get Eaten.
And I Know Exactly What You're Thinking.
'You've Got Too Much Time On Your Hands Mate.'
And You'd Be Right.
Saturday Night Was Good Stuff Though.
We Went Out For Chess' Birthday To A Bar In Reading.
The Maccabees Were DJing But We Didn't See Them, The Last Train Was Quite Early And I Hadn't Nicked Enough Money Off Of My Mum For A Taxi.
Instead We Drank A Lot Of Wine And Had Some Chats.
I Kicked A Glass Over In A Rage At Harriet.
I Then Immediately Felt Terrible, And Picked Up All The Glass.
I Only Cut The Backs Of My Hands, Which Is Good....?
Truth Be Told, I Was Pretty Much Trashed.
I Kept Hi5ing Chess, But I Don't Remember What For.
And The Barman Was Hitting On Me.
He Had A Misfits Shirt.
I Think Later In The Night I Actually Said 'Man, The Misfits Have Some Hits.'
Which They Don't, Really.
Not Post-Danzig.
Not At All.
Danzig, For Me, WAS The Misfits.
Then Sunday I Slept Pretty Much All Day.
Sometimes I Wish I Could Do That Every Day, My Life In My Dreams Is So Much More Realistic In It's Dealing Out Of Fair Shares.
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*We're Awesome.
Tuesday 18 March 2008
THERE IS JUST ONE THING REALLY BUGGING ME.
How Do They Make Pringles From Rice?
To Me It Seems Impossible - Rice Into A Crisp?
Explain It To Me, Because Rice Always Seems Very Against Changing Form.
It's One Of Many Reasons I've Never Actually Eaten Rice.
At Least, Not In Its Non-Pringle Form.
So, Answers On A Postcard, Because I Am Stumped.
Today's Song Is An Absolute Corker, And Its The First Smiths Song I Feel I Can Post On Here, Because It's Only Partially A Smiths Song.
It's The Sandie Shaw Version Of 'Hand In Glove' - It's Basically The Smiths Without Morrissey.
I Saw The Top Of The Pops Performance Of It And Was Just In Awe, Johnny Marr Always Looks Kool But In That Performance He Really Shines, YouTube It.
I Would Put The Video Here But I Want You To Hear The Song More Than Anything.
The Smiths (Ft. Sandie Shaw) - Hand In Glove
This Past Week Has Been Well Strange.
Thursday I Think I Went To Fleet, Which Was Hilarious.
As Always Murtha Said I Wouldn't Get Into Jaxx Because Of How I Was Dressed.
I Looked Bloody Marvellous - Purple Cardigan Done Up To Perfection, Grey T-Shirt, CLEAN SHOES.
I Just Very Rarely Wear Shirts.
I Tried My One Shirt On Today And Looked Almost Too Respectable.
But Sort Of, 'I Produced Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man's EP, Let's Have A Chat' Respectable, If You Know What I Mean.
BUT ANYWAY YEAH I GOT TRASHED.
I Remember Dancing In A Way That I Class As Sort Of 'Two-Step Metal', But Others Described As 'Gettin' Low, In The Lil Jon Sense.'
Whenever I Dance It Is Ironic.
But Irony And Sarcasm Are Lost On Men With Fully Developed Shoulders And Polo Shirts.
I Spent All My Money, And I Mean All My Money, On Vodka And Cokes.
I Looked Like A Superstar I'm Sure, Sitting At The Bar, Performing 'The Wink And The Gun' At Strangers.
No, It's Not Sexual, It Is This:
And I'm Not Going To Lie, I Looked Almost Exactly Like Will Smith In That Picture.
People Loved It.
My Skool Friend Mitch, Who I Haven't Seen In Years, Got An Eyeful Of My Wink And Gun.
He Bloody Loved It.
The Three Or Four Women He Was With Did Not.
Then In The Taxi On The Way Home The Driver Was A Bellend About Driving Us Home (To Be Fair I Hate My Responsibilities Too, And By That I Mean 'Waking Up And Going To College') So We All Muttered Different Insults Under Our Breath.
I Got Out On The Wrong Side Of Farnborough, Because I Wanted To Walk Home From Fleet And Thought That Would Do.
It Was Freezing, But I Also Didn't Have Enough Money To Go Any Further And I Hate To Be A Bother.
TO BE HONEST, I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT WEEK THIS WAS, BUT I HAVEN'T CHRONICLED IT YET SO IT MUST HAVE BEEN LAST THURSDAY, AND IF IT WAS THIS HAS GONE EVER SO SLOWLY.
OH NO WAIT IT WAS THE THURSDAY BEFORE, COS REN WAS THERE AND LAST WEEK SHE WAS IN ICELAND.
OKAY GOOD, I'M GLAD THAT'S SORTED OUT.
THIS Weekend Was Really Odd.
Friday We Went To A Pub In Farnham, I Didn't Much Like It There, It Was Very Dingy And Full Of Old People.
Two Actual Punks Were Stood Behind Me And Jonny At The Bar, And I Heard What They Were Saying To Each Other.
It Was Something Like 'Look At These Young People, Look At His Shoes!'.
I Immediately Turned Round And Went 'Cheers' And Looked One Of Them In The Eye.
I Then Realised That Punks Aren't Actually Afraid Of Confrontation.
They LOVE It, In Fact.
Luckily Jonny Had Got His Drink At That Second, And Grabbed Me By The Shoulder And Said 'Come On My Luvverrrr.'
They Looked Pissed That We'd Implied A Capability Of Homosexuality Of Ourselves.
Clearly Nazi Punks, Then...
Some Gurl From My New Psychology Class Was There, And Because I'm Yet To Know Anyone In My Psychology Class I Kind Of Didn't Believe She Knew Who I Was, Because I Didn't Know Who She Was At All.
She Stroked My Face Which Was Really Weird, I Don't Stroke The Faces Of People I Know Well, Let Alone Strangers.
I Was Definitely Freaked Out.
But Then There Was A Dwarf.
I Told My Mum I Saw A Midget And She Was Like 'Do You Mean Midget Or Dwarf? Because A Midget Is Just A Really Small Person, And A Dwarf Is Noticeably Different.'
But This Was A Dwarf.
I Kept Drunkenly Making The Joke Where You Go 'Oh Guys Look, There's The Midget Again' And Just Pointing At People Of Average Height.
I Found It Absolutely Hilarious.
I Was Alone In This Feeling.
Then Saturday We Got Told There Was A Warehouse Party In Woking.
We All Drove To Woking.
There Was No Warehouse Party.
There Were About Two Hundred Scene Kids Stood Outside A Warehouse, Oh Yeah, There Was That, But Everyone Was Too Afraid To Go In To The Warehouse.
Apparently One Of The Kids Who Didn't Like Us Because We Wore Cardigans And Didn't Like Bands With Names Like 'Open The Skies' And 'XEDGEXFORXLIFEX' Rang The Police On His Own Party.
Hilarious.
So We Just Had Some Macdonald's And Drove Home.
The Drive Was Fun Though.
There Was A Man In A Bush On A Road With No Lights.
Was Well Odd.
However, When I Got In I Had A Really Good Evening.
I Watched '100 Greatest Stand Ups' And Talked To Chess And Lucy For About Three Hours, Which Concluded With A Phone Call.
I Don't Even Think They Were Drunk, Which Actually Makes It Better In My Eyes, They Were Really Funny And Asked Me Some Really Odd Questions.
Was Good Stuff Though.
And Yesterday I Bonded With My Psychology Class By Laughing At My Teacher's Exposed Underwear.
Enough Said.
DOWNLOAD THAT SONG.
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To Me It Seems Impossible - Rice Into A Crisp?
Explain It To Me, Because Rice Always Seems Very Against Changing Form.
It's One Of Many Reasons I've Never Actually Eaten Rice.
At Least, Not In Its Non-Pringle Form.
So, Answers On A Postcard, Because I Am Stumped.
Today's Song Is An Absolute Corker, And Its The First Smiths Song I Feel I Can Post On Here, Because It's Only Partially A Smiths Song.
It's The Sandie Shaw Version Of 'Hand In Glove' - It's Basically The Smiths Without Morrissey.
I Saw The Top Of The Pops Performance Of It And Was Just In Awe, Johnny Marr Always Looks Kool But In That Performance He Really Shines, YouTube It.
I Would Put The Video Here But I Want You To Hear The Song More Than Anything.
The Smiths (Ft. Sandie Shaw) - Hand In Glove
This Past Week Has Been Well Strange.
Thursday I Think I Went To Fleet, Which Was Hilarious.
As Always Murtha Said I Wouldn't Get Into Jaxx Because Of How I Was Dressed.
I Looked Bloody Marvellous - Purple Cardigan Done Up To Perfection, Grey T-Shirt, CLEAN SHOES.
I Just Very Rarely Wear Shirts.
I Tried My One Shirt On Today And Looked Almost Too Respectable.
But Sort Of, 'I Produced Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man's EP, Let's Have A Chat' Respectable, If You Know What I Mean.
BUT ANYWAY YEAH I GOT TRASHED.
I Remember Dancing In A Way That I Class As Sort Of 'Two-Step Metal', But Others Described As 'Gettin' Low, In The Lil Jon Sense.'
Whenever I Dance It Is Ironic.
But Irony And Sarcasm Are Lost On Men With Fully Developed Shoulders And Polo Shirts.
I Spent All My Money, And I Mean All My Money, On Vodka And Cokes.
I Looked Like A Superstar I'm Sure, Sitting At The Bar, Performing 'The Wink And The Gun' At Strangers.
No, It's Not Sexual, It Is This:
And I'm Not Going To Lie, I Looked Almost Exactly Like Will Smith In That Picture.
People Loved It.
My Skool Friend Mitch, Who I Haven't Seen In Years, Got An Eyeful Of My Wink And Gun.
He Bloody Loved It.
The Three Or Four Women He Was With Did Not.
Then In The Taxi On The Way Home The Driver Was A Bellend About Driving Us Home (To Be Fair I Hate My Responsibilities Too, And By That I Mean 'Waking Up And Going To College') So We All Muttered Different Insults Under Our Breath.
I Got Out On The Wrong Side Of Farnborough, Because I Wanted To Walk Home From Fleet And Thought That Would Do.
It Was Freezing, But I Also Didn't Have Enough Money To Go Any Further And I Hate To Be A Bother.
TO BE HONEST, I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT WEEK THIS WAS, BUT I HAVEN'T CHRONICLED IT YET SO IT MUST HAVE BEEN LAST THURSDAY, AND IF IT WAS THIS HAS GONE EVER SO SLOWLY.
OH NO WAIT IT WAS THE THURSDAY BEFORE, COS REN WAS THERE AND LAST WEEK SHE WAS IN ICELAND.
OKAY GOOD, I'M GLAD THAT'S SORTED OUT.
THIS Weekend Was Really Odd.
Friday We Went To A Pub In Farnham, I Didn't Much Like It There, It Was Very Dingy And Full Of Old People.
Two Actual Punks Were Stood Behind Me And Jonny At The Bar, And I Heard What They Were Saying To Each Other.
It Was Something Like 'Look At These Young People, Look At His Shoes!'.
I Immediately Turned Round And Went 'Cheers' And Looked One Of Them In The Eye.
I Then Realised That Punks Aren't Actually Afraid Of Confrontation.
They LOVE It, In Fact.
Luckily Jonny Had Got His Drink At That Second, And Grabbed Me By The Shoulder And Said 'Come On My Luvverrrr.'
They Looked Pissed That We'd Implied A Capability Of Homosexuality Of Ourselves.
Clearly Nazi Punks, Then...
Some Gurl From My New Psychology Class Was There, And Because I'm Yet To Know Anyone In My Psychology Class I Kind Of Didn't Believe She Knew Who I Was, Because I Didn't Know Who She Was At All.
She Stroked My Face Which Was Really Weird, I Don't Stroke The Faces Of People I Know Well, Let Alone Strangers.
I Was Definitely Freaked Out.
But Then There Was A Dwarf.
I Told My Mum I Saw A Midget And She Was Like 'Do You Mean Midget Or Dwarf? Because A Midget Is Just A Really Small Person, And A Dwarf Is Noticeably Different.'
But This Was A Dwarf.
I Kept Drunkenly Making The Joke Where You Go 'Oh Guys Look, There's The Midget Again' And Just Pointing At People Of Average Height.
I Found It Absolutely Hilarious.
I Was Alone In This Feeling.
Then Saturday We Got Told There Was A Warehouse Party In Woking.
We All Drove To Woking.
There Was No Warehouse Party.
There Were About Two Hundred Scene Kids Stood Outside A Warehouse, Oh Yeah, There Was That, But Everyone Was Too Afraid To Go In To The Warehouse.
Apparently One Of The Kids Who Didn't Like Us Because We Wore Cardigans And Didn't Like Bands With Names Like 'Open The Skies' And 'XEDGEXFORXLIFEX' Rang The Police On His Own Party.
Hilarious.
So We Just Had Some Macdonald's And Drove Home.
The Drive Was Fun Though.
There Was A Man In A Bush On A Road With No Lights.
Was Well Odd.
However, When I Got In I Had A Really Good Evening.
I Watched '100 Greatest Stand Ups' And Talked To Chess And Lucy For About Three Hours, Which Concluded With A Phone Call.
I Don't Even Think They Were Drunk, Which Actually Makes It Better In My Eyes, They Were Really Funny And Asked Me Some Really Odd Questions.
Was Good Stuff Though.
And Yesterday I Bonded With My Psychology Class By Laughing At My Teacher's Exposed Underwear.
Enough Said.
DOWNLOAD THAT SONG.
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Wednesday 12 March 2008
I KNOW EVERYTHING CHANGES, ALL THE CITIES AND FACES.
Believe It Or Not, And I'm Very Happy To Say, That Is In Fact A Sugababes Lyric.
Rob Introduced To Me How Kajungah The Song 'About You Now' Is.
Girls Aloud Are More Consistently Good, No Doubt, But Sugababes Have Some Gems.
It's A Shame They'll Never Break America Really...
Oh And Today's Download Is A Surprise, But A Worthy Surprise.
If You Click The Link You'll See What It Is Anyway.
I Find This Song Absolutely Hilarious Yet The Sentiment Is Bang On.
SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE-ISE-ISE
This Past Week Has Had A Few Moments Of Wonder Actually.
Friday Night I Went To See Kid Harpoon, The Support Was Arthur And Helsinki (Otherwise Known As That Guy Out Of Babyshambles' Solo Project) Who Were Both Pretty Good.
Kid Harpoon However Were Really Really Good, Which I Hadn't Expected To Be Honest, My Prior Knowledge Of Them Was Two Kind Of Shit Acoustic Recordings From SXSW A Few Years Ago.
But They Were Really Good - Ren Said She Looked Over At Me A Few Times And I Was Just Smiling My Face Off, Which Is Rare At Any Point.
Me And Tom Were Drinking Corona All Night, I Felt Like Such A Businessman With A Bottle Of Beer With A Lime In It.
'Masculine But Edgy', Right?
I Think I Actually Transferred Back To The Vodka And Cokes After A Few Of Them - You Know How I Do.
The Rest Of The Weekend Was Kind Of Average, I Watched Loads Of Football, Which Was Evened Out By The 'Nobody Loves Me, Everybody Hates Me, Going Down The Garden To Eat Worms' Kurt Cobain Mentality I Fell Asleep Under.
Monday Was An Altogether Different Kettle Of Fish.
In Music Tech, Our Teacher Showed Us This Song By OINGO BOINGO.
Oingo Boingo Is The Genius That Is Danny Elfman's Electro Band.
They're A Total Devo Rip Off, Which Was Kind of Disappointing As I Love Danny Elfman's Other Music.
However, This Song And Its Video Make Him More Punk Rock To Me Than I Had Ever Imagined He Could Be.
How Disgraceful Is That?!
He's The Ginger Lead Singer By The Way.
Then I Had To Record My Vocals For My Sting Cover.
It Sounds A Bit Like It Was Made By The Mentally Ill All Slowed Down From Electro Shock Therapy As A 'Project' To Keep Them Off Of The Streets. In Victorian Times.
In Other Words It Is Terrible, And I Never Even Liked 'Every Breath You Take' - To Me Sting Is A Joke.
So I Got This Guy To Sing Over It And He's Got This Really Emo Voice, It Sounds So Messed Up But In A Wicked Way.
Then Harriet, Soph And Jess Came Round For Tea Which Was Alright, Harriet Ate A Bit Of Chocolate I'd Had Fully In My Mouth And Then Spat It In My Drink, I Think I've Got The Clap At The Very Least, Things Haven't Been The Same Since.
We Just Watched Music Videos Really.
And I Had A Driving Lesson That Was SHIT, I Stalled For The First Time And I Wasn't Allowed To Drive Home Because I Was So Appalling.
Tuesday Was A Waste, Nothing Of Merit Happened At All At All At All, That I Can Remember.
I Beat The Big Show As Ray Gunn (Was It Ray Gunn Or Billy Gunn? I Know One Is A Wrestler And One Is A Porn Star) On Becca's Wrestlemania Gameboy Game - Becca Was Amazed, It Means She Can't Come On Lad's Night And That She Is In Fact A Big Gurl.
Then Today I Had My First Lesson In My New Psychology Class.
It Is Rad, We Watched A Video On Jack The Ripper (I Knew Too Much And Had To Cover Up With Ignorance, I'm Sure Knowing Ridiculous Amounts About Victorian Murderers Does Not Give Off A Good First Impression) And My Teacher Is Really Nice, Even If We Do Work In Complete Silence.
They Have A Running Joke That They're All Boning Her - Classic.
I Almost Joined In, But Felt That It Was Too Soon.
It Was Funny, I Got My Folder Out And Chinese Whispers Ensued - 'He's Got A Pink Folder, He's Got A Pink Folder, He's Got A Pink Folder, You've Got A Pink Folder?'
'Oh This Old Thang?'
They Loved It.
I'll Keep You Updated With Who Joke Shags Her And Whatnot...
Then Tutorial Was Excellent, My Tutor Is So Rad.
I've Recently Been Asking Myself How I Should Thank Him At The End Of The Year (He's Done More For Me This Year Than Most Of My Parents Have) And I Cannot Think Of A Straight And Adequate Way To Thank Him.
Beer - Sports Teacher.
Chocolates - Mono Et Mono.
Flowers - I've Never Bought Anybody Flowers And When I Do You Can Bet I'll Be Twenty Five And On The Seventy Second Blind Date Of Desperation.
I'd Love To Have An Excuse To Buy Someone Flowers Other Than 'It'll Be Well Funny.'
I Wish I Had An Excuse For Most Things That Wasn't 'It'll Be Well Funny' Really....
THEN I Came Home, Jonny And Rob Turned Up With Beer And We Drank And Watched Music Videos.
Rob Then Left, And Me And Jonny Thought It'd Be Hilarious To Watch Literally Tens Of Michael Jackson Videos (Including The Fourteen Minute Long Video For 'Thriller' And 'Earth Song').
It Really Was Hilarious.
But I Realised That Until Around The Release Of 'Bad', Michael Jackson Could Literally Do No Wrong.
Then....Well We've All Heard 'Earth Song.'
'What About BABY BOYSSSSSS' Is An Actual Lyric.
After That I Had Band Practice.
Which Was Amazing.
I'm Still Getting Used To Jonesy Being Really, Really Complimentary.
But I Guess He Is Only Human And We ARE Quit Kazuki...
We Recorded All Of Our New Songs For Him And He's Doing The Lyrics As We Speak.
Our EP Will Be A Concept EP, But I Can't Possibly Give You Any More Details.
We're Playing In May With Cables, Wow! Pigeon Eyes And Saxon Sunday Who Are All Total Babes And Excellent Musicians, If You Don't Come You'll Miss All The Hot Action.
Until Next Time Four Interesting Things Happen To Me, Many Happy Returns.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Rob Introduced To Me How Kajungah The Song 'About You Now' Is.
Girls Aloud Are More Consistently Good, No Doubt, But Sugababes Have Some Gems.
It's A Shame They'll Never Break America Really...
Oh And Today's Download Is A Surprise, But A Worthy Surprise.
If You Click The Link You'll See What It Is Anyway.
I Find This Song Absolutely Hilarious Yet The Sentiment Is Bang On.
SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE-ISE-ISE
This Past Week Has Had A Few Moments Of Wonder Actually.
Friday Night I Went To See Kid Harpoon, The Support Was Arthur And Helsinki (Otherwise Known As That Guy Out Of Babyshambles' Solo Project) Who Were Both Pretty Good.
Kid Harpoon However Were Really Really Good, Which I Hadn't Expected To Be Honest, My Prior Knowledge Of Them Was Two Kind Of Shit Acoustic Recordings From SXSW A Few Years Ago.
But They Were Really Good - Ren Said She Looked Over At Me A Few Times And I Was Just Smiling My Face Off, Which Is Rare At Any Point.
Me And Tom Were Drinking Corona All Night, I Felt Like Such A Businessman With A Bottle Of Beer With A Lime In It.
'Masculine But Edgy', Right?
I Think I Actually Transferred Back To The Vodka And Cokes After A Few Of Them - You Know How I Do.
The Rest Of The Weekend Was Kind Of Average, I Watched Loads Of Football, Which Was Evened Out By The 'Nobody Loves Me, Everybody Hates Me, Going Down The Garden To Eat Worms' Kurt Cobain Mentality I Fell Asleep Under.
Monday Was An Altogether Different Kettle Of Fish.
In Music Tech, Our Teacher Showed Us This Song By OINGO BOINGO.
Oingo Boingo Is The Genius That Is Danny Elfman's Electro Band.
They're A Total Devo Rip Off, Which Was Kind of Disappointing As I Love Danny Elfman's Other Music.
However, This Song And Its Video Make Him More Punk Rock To Me Than I Had Ever Imagined He Could Be.
How Disgraceful Is That?!
He's The Ginger Lead Singer By The Way.
Then I Had To Record My Vocals For My Sting Cover.
It Sounds A Bit Like It Was Made By The Mentally Ill All Slowed Down From Electro Shock Therapy As A 'Project' To Keep Them Off Of The Streets. In Victorian Times.
In Other Words It Is Terrible, And I Never Even Liked 'Every Breath You Take' - To Me Sting Is A Joke.
So I Got This Guy To Sing Over It And He's Got This Really Emo Voice, It Sounds So Messed Up But In A Wicked Way.
Then Harriet, Soph And Jess Came Round For Tea Which Was Alright, Harriet Ate A Bit Of Chocolate I'd Had Fully In My Mouth And Then Spat It In My Drink, I Think I've Got The Clap At The Very Least, Things Haven't Been The Same Since.
We Just Watched Music Videos Really.
And I Had A Driving Lesson That Was SHIT, I Stalled For The First Time And I Wasn't Allowed To Drive Home Because I Was So Appalling.
Tuesday Was A Waste, Nothing Of Merit Happened At All At All At All, That I Can Remember.
I Beat The Big Show As Ray Gunn (Was It Ray Gunn Or Billy Gunn? I Know One Is A Wrestler And One Is A Porn Star) On Becca's Wrestlemania Gameboy Game - Becca Was Amazed, It Means She Can't Come On Lad's Night And That She Is In Fact A Big Gurl.
Then Today I Had My First Lesson In My New Psychology Class.
It Is Rad, We Watched A Video On Jack The Ripper (I Knew Too Much And Had To Cover Up With Ignorance, I'm Sure Knowing Ridiculous Amounts About Victorian Murderers Does Not Give Off A Good First Impression) And My Teacher Is Really Nice, Even If We Do Work In Complete Silence.
They Have A Running Joke That They're All Boning Her - Classic.
I Almost Joined In, But Felt That It Was Too Soon.
It Was Funny, I Got My Folder Out And Chinese Whispers Ensued - 'He's Got A Pink Folder, He's Got A Pink Folder, He's Got A Pink Folder, You've Got A Pink Folder?'
'Oh This Old Thang?'
They Loved It.
I'll Keep You Updated With Who Joke Shags Her And Whatnot...
Then Tutorial Was Excellent, My Tutor Is So Rad.
I've Recently Been Asking Myself How I Should Thank Him At The End Of The Year (He's Done More For Me This Year Than Most Of My Parents Have) And I Cannot Think Of A Straight And Adequate Way To Thank Him.
Beer - Sports Teacher.
Chocolates - Mono Et Mono.
Flowers - I've Never Bought Anybody Flowers And When I Do You Can Bet I'll Be Twenty Five And On The Seventy Second Blind Date Of Desperation.
I'd Love To Have An Excuse To Buy Someone Flowers Other Than 'It'll Be Well Funny.'
I Wish I Had An Excuse For Most Things That Wasn't 'It'll Be Well Funny' Really....
THEN I Came Home, Jonny And Rob Turned Up With Beer And We Drank And Watched Music Videos.
Rob Then Left, And Me And Jonny Thought It'd Be Hilarious To Watch Literally Tens Of Michael Jackson Videos (Including The Fourteen Minute Long Video For 'Thriller' And 'Earth Song').
It Really Was Hilarious.
But I Realised That Until Around The Release Of 'Bad', Michael Jackson Could Literally Do No Wrong.
Then....Well We've All Heard 'Earth Song.'
'What About BABY BOYSSSSSS' Is An Actual Lyric.
After That I Had Band Practice.
Which Was Amazing.
I'm Still Getting Used To Jonesy Being Really, Really Complimentary.
But I Guess He Is Only Human And We ARE Quit Kazuki...
We Recorded All Of Our New Songs For Him And He's Doing The Lyrics As We Speak.
Our EP Will Be A Concept EP, But I Can't Possibly Give You Any More Details.
We're Playing In May With Cables, Wow! Pigeon Eyes And Saxon Sunday Who Are All Total Babes And Excellent Musicians, If You Don't Come You'll Miss All The Hot Action.
Until Next Time Four Interesting Things Happen To Me, Many Happy Returns.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wednesday 5 March 2008
SUDDENLY I STOP, AND I KNOW IT'S TOO LATE.
Today I'm Only Going To Put One Song Up, Because This One Took Twenty Minutes To Upload.
It's The Album Version Of 'A Forest' By The Cure, From 'Seventeen Seconds.'
It's Really Amazing, The Intro Somehow Sets It Up To Be Better Than The Single Version, It Really Affects It.
The Cure - A Forest
So Have A Listen To That.
I AM VERY MUCH SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN MORE THAN A WEEK.
Maybe Even Two.
That Is Terrible Of Me, I'm Ashamed, I've Scalded Myself For It On More Than One Occasion.
And I Actually Mean 'Scald', Which Is Rather A 1930s Practice, Meaning 'To Burn With Boiling Liquid Or Hot Steam.'
Captain Beefheart Would Be Proud Of My Methods, Rumour Has It That During The Recording Of 'Trout Mask Replica' He Literally Beat His Band If They Hit A Wrong Note.
Such A Genius...
I've Been Having All Sorts Of Odd Dreams.
Last Night I Dreamt That Me And Some Friends - By Which I Mean 'Dream Friends', Not Actual Friends That I Know - Were At A Train Station, And One Of Them Liked The Same Gurl As Me, And Kept Talking To Me In About Her In A Competitive Way.
I Walked Off And He Had Literally Cut My Arm Off.
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS.
Unless It Means That Subconsciously I Am So Ridiculously Confident In Myself That The Only Way I Think I Can Be Beaten Is If I Were To Lose A Limb Or Two.
But I Very Much Doubt That, Sometimes I Am So Pessimistic I Refuse To Believe I Even Deserve Limbs.
And For Some Reason It Made Me Think Of When I First Got Contact Lenses.
They Didn't Work, Cos My Eyes Are Weirdly Shaped - I Think I Did That Thing Where You Push Your Eyelids Really Hard Into Your Eyes To Create A Game Where You're Falling Through Multi-Coloured Squares Too Much As A Child, If You've No Idea What I Mean By That PUSH YOUR EYELIDS INTO YOUR EYES REALLY HARD - But I Could See Enough To Get By.
And It Made Me Think About How Much Nicer The World Is When You Don't Know How Ugly People You're Talking To Are.
And Then I Thought 'Hmm, Well If My Eyes Are Like This Forever, My Confidence Will Shoot Right Up, As I Will Naturally Assume That Everyone Is Ugly.'
And, Continuing With This Stream Of Consciousness, I Thought About That Gandhi Quote:
'An Eye For An Eye Makes The Whole World Blind.'
Which Led Me To Think Of The Positive Implications Of Such A Proverb.
If Everyone WAS Blind, The World Would Be A Much Friendlier Place I Reckon.
Of Course, You Couldn't Enjoy Art Or Photography Or Film Or Whatever, But You'd Still Have Music, And Literature Would Exist Only In Audiobook Form.
AND AFTER ALL OF THIS DEEP THOUGHT, I WENT TO THE OPTICIAN'S AND THE PROBLEM WAS CORRECTED.
And Everyone's Still Ugly.
Hahaha.
As You Can Tell From That Anecdote, Not Much Has Actually Happened This Week At All.
Friday Night Was A Really Good Night, Jonny Drove Us To The West End Centre In Aldershot ('The Westy' Is So 'I'm Fourteen And Have A Local' I Feel, I Doubt People In Brixton Call Brixton Academy 'The Academy', And If They Do They've No Idea What 'Academy' Means) To See Wow! Pigeon Eyes Support Pneu.
Wow! Pigeon Eyes Were Really Good, Their New Stuff Is Excellent.
Then The Room Changed And Three Bands Played A Track Each In A Jools Holland Style.
We, Being The Clever Bunch We Are, Decided We Go In For Every Third Song So That We Only Saw Shield Your Eyes.
We Soon Lost Track Of How Many Songs Had Been Played And Just Didn't Go In For Ages.
I Think I Saw Two Shield Your Eyes Tracks, Then Got Lost In Drinking And Talking To Various People About Things I'm Struggling To Remember.
It Was A Really Good Night Though.
I Had Some Good Chatz.
I Only Went Back In To See Pneu's Last Song, And I'm Kind Of Gutted I Didn't See More Of Them, They Were Insane.
The Guitarist Was Looping Everything He Played, And The Drummer Was So Fast It Just Didn't Make Sense How He'd Become So Aware Of Timing.
But Yeah A Really Good Night.
This Week Has Been Kind Of Appalling, I Keep Bumping Into Or Being Forced To Converse With People I Either Don't Want To Look Appalling In Front Of Or Do Not Have The Time For.
I Used To Embrace The Act Of Talking To People I Really Dislike, But In Recent Times My Love Of Such Activities Has Waned, And I See It For What It Is.
And Obviously Nobody Likes Looking Appalling In Front Of People They Only Want To Look Good In Front Of, If They Did They'd Do It All The Time, On Purpose.
So Give Me A Call Or Something, I Really Would Like A Phone Call Every Now And Then, I Think People Don't Care Enough About Other People So Let's Do Something About It And Ask Each Other How We Are And What We've Been Up To And Where We Got Our Clothes From, Yeah?
Oh And Go Download The New Charlatans' Album, It's Really Good And Free On The XFM Website.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It's The Album Version Of 'A Forest' By The Cure, From 'Seventeen Seconds.'
It's Really Amazing, The Intro Somehow Sets It Up To Be Better Than The Single Version, It Really Affects It.
The Cure - A Forest
So Have A Listen To That.
I AM VERY MUCH SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN MORE THAN A WEEK.
Maybe Even Two.
That Is Terrible Of Me, I'm Ashamed, I've Scalded Myself For It On More Than One Occasion.
And I Actually Mean 'Scald', Which Is Rather A 1930s Practice, Meaning 'To Burn With Boiling Liquid Or Hot Steam.'
Captain Beefheart Would Be Proud Of My Methods, Rumour Has It That During The Recording Of 'Trout Mask Replica' He Literally Beat His Band If They Hit A Wrong Note.
Such A Genius...
I've Been Having All Sorts Of Odd Dreams.
Last Night I Dreamt That Me And Some Friends - By Which I Mean 'Dream Friends', Not Actual Friends That I Know - Were At A Train Station, And One Of Them Liked The Same Gurl As Me, And Kept Talking To Me In About Her In A Competitive Way.
I Walked Off And He Had Literally Cut My Arm Off.
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS.
Unless It Means That Subconsciously I Am So Ridiculously Confident In Myself That The Only Way I Think I Can Be Beaten Is If I Were To Lose A Limb Or Two.
But I Very Much Doubt That, Sometimes I Am So Pessimistic I Refuse To Believe I Even Deserve Limbs.
And For Some Reason It Made Me Think Of When I First Got Contact Lenses.
They Didn't Work, Cos My Eyes Are Weirdly Shaped - I Think I Did That Thing Where You Push Your Eyelids Really Hard Into Your Eyes To Create A Game Where You're Falling Through Multi-Coloured Squares Too Much As A Child, If You've No Idea What I Mean By That PUSH YOUR EYELIDS INTO YOUR EYES REALLY HARD - But I Could See Enough To Get By.
And It Made Me Think About How Much Nicer The World Is When You Don't Know How Ugly People You're Talking To Are.
And Then I Thought 'Hmm, Well If My Eyes Are Like This Forever, My Confidence Will Shoot Right Up, As I Will Naturally Assume That Everyone Is Ugly.'
And, Continuing With This Stream Of Consciousness, I Thought About That Gandhi Quote:
'An Eye For An Eye Makes The Whole World Blind.'
Which Led Me To Think Of The Positive Implications Of Such A Proverb.
If Everyone WAS Blind, The World Would Be A Much Friendlier Place I Reckon.
Of Course, You Couldn't Enjoy Art Or Photography Or Film Or Whatever, But You'd Still Have Music, And Literature Would Exist Only In Audiobook Form.
AND AFTER ALL OF THIS DEEP THOUGHT, I WENT TO THE OPTICIAN'S AND THE PROBLEM WAS CORRECTED.
And Everyone's Still Ugly.
Hahaha.
As You Can Tell From That Anecdote, Not Much Has Actually Happened This Week At All.
Friday Night Was A Really Good Night, Jonny Drove Us To The West End Centre In Aldershot ('The Westy' Is So 'I'm Fourteen And Have A Local' I Feel, I Doubt People In Brixton Call Brixton Academy 'The Academy', And If They Do They've No Idea What 'Academy' Means) To See Wow! Pigeon Eyes Support Pneu.
Wow! Pigeon Eyes Were Really Good, Their New Stuff Is Excellent.
Then The Room Changed And Three Bands Played A Track Each In A Jools Holland Style.
We, Being The Clever Bunch We Are, Decided We Go In For Every Third Song So That We Only Saw Shield Your Eyes.
We Soon Lost Track Of How Many Songs Had Been Played And Just Didn't Go In For Ages.
I Think I Saw Two Shield Your Eyes Tracks, Then Got Lost In Drinking And Talking To Various People About Things I'm Struggling To Remember.
It Was A Really Good Night Though.
I Had Some Good Chatz.
I Only Went Back In To See Pneu's Last Song, And I'm Kind Of Gutted I Didn't See More Of Them, They Were Insane.
The Guitarist Was Looping Everything He Played, And The Drummer Was So Fast It Just Didn't Make Sense How He'd Become So Aware Of Timing.
But Yeah A Really Good Night.
This Week Has Been Kind Of Appalling, I Keep Bumping Into Or Being Forced To Converse With People I Either Don't Want To Look Appalling In Front Of Or Do Not Have The Time For.
I Used To Embrace The Act Of Talking To People I Really Dislike, But In Recent Times My Love Of Such Activities Has Waned, And I See It For What It Is.
And Obviously Nobody Likes Looking Appalling In Front Of People They Only Want To Look Good In Front Of, If They Did They'd Do It All The Time, On Purpose.
So Give Me A Call Or Something, I Really Would Like A Phone Call Every Now And Then, I Think People Don't Care Enough About Other People So Let's Do Something About It And Ask Each Other How We Are And What We've Been Up To And Where We Got Our Clothes From, Yeah?
Oh And Go Download The New Charlatans' Album, It's Really Good And Free On The XFM Website.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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