I'M GONNA TAKE MY TIME, AND SHE'S GONNA GET HER'S BEFORE I, GET MINE.

I Know It's Such A Shit Song, But Snoop Dogg Has Lyrics I Would Die For.
And The Hot Chip Cover Of That Song Is Amazing.

Look It Up On Hype Machine, I'd Post It But I Really Can't Be Bothered, It Takes So Long And Nobody Ever Really Cares.

So I Haven't Written In Fucking Ages, But Luckily That Means That I Should Have Loads To Write About.
Bear With Me, Because This WILL Be Stream-Of-Consciousness-Esque.
Mainly Due To The Fact That I Don't Remember Anything Having Happened, So I'll Write As It Comes To Me.

I Think I Might Start Writing Stream Of Consciousness Prose, See What Comes Out, Then Overanalyse It Until My Thoughts Are Other People's Comedy.

So, The First Funny Thing That Happened To Me Since I Last Wrote Was Probably Last Tuesday Night, When Me, Curtis, Ren, Hannah, Chess, Lucy, Hayley And Tahaany (Not All On The Same Train, That Would've Been Messy And Ganglike) Went To This Really Terrible Gig At The Boileroom.
I Really Don't Mind If You're Reading This Thinking 'Oh My Friend Put That On!' Or 'I'm In One Of Those Bands', Come And Find Me. The Guy That Put It On Actually Seemed Safe, This Is In No Way An Attack, Just A Plea For People To Realise What Stunning Music Is Coming Out Locally.
The Spunkxcore Movement Is Really Gaining Momentum, Catch It.
You Heard. Catch The Spunk.
Catch It With Both Hands, Cos Friend, It Is Massive.

That Was An Immature Self-Indulgent Joke.

I Chuffing Loved It.

BUT YEAH.
The Train There Was Kind Of Hilarious.
These Guys In Joggers Had Sort Of, Been Intimidating Me At The Station, Asking For Cigarettes And My Wallet. I'd Made A Friend By Telling Them All To Fuck Off. It Was Bold, Probably, But You Must Realise That, Like Bears, You Can Tell If Groups Of Kids Are Actually Going To Be Violent By How They Approach You. Normally If They Walk Slowly You'll Be Fine. If They Stare At You, That's Bad. If They Sit Down Next To You, You've Normally Won.
But On The Train They Asked All The Ladies To Suck Their Dicks.
To Be Fair, If You Don't Ask, You Don't Get.
However, They Didn't Get Anything But Shunned.
Then They Left, By Pushing The Train Guy Out Of The Way Quite Violently.
I Asked If He Was Alright.
I'm Trying This New Thing Of Actually Just Being Nice, It's Sort Of, Post-Post-Modern.
He Said 'Yeah Thanks Mate. Anyway, My Son's Bigger Than Him, He'll Find Them.'
No Laugh.
I Laughed, He Didn't.
Hahaha.

When We Got There, We Sat In The Garden Smoking And Drinking And Talking Through Almost Every Band, Until The Bar Shut Cos Too Many Young Kids Got In And Faked The Hand Marks, And Then Me, Chess And Curtis Went On A Bar Run.
We Went To TGI Friday's And Had Sambucas.
We Went To Some Little Posh Bar And Had Tequilas.
Tequila Sucks.
Then We Ran Back.
It Was A Lot Of Money Spent In A Horrible, Awkward Semi-Run.
But I Liked It.

Then We Got Back There And Just Did The Same Again.
That Was Pretty Much The End Of Anything Funny Happening.

Then Last Weekend I Had A Free House.
On Friday Night Some People Came Round, We Got A Bit Drunk And Listened To 'Is This It.'
I Felt Really Mid-20s, Having Found The Perfect 'Let's Not Go Too Crazy Guyyyys' Music.
But You Know, We Had Drink Parasols, Toffee Vodkat And Make-Up, So It Was Okay.
Me And Tom 'Secretly' Put Make Up On.
Tom Did The Perfect Impression Of Chris Crocker.
Look Him Up, It Was So Funny.
I Just Looked Like Myself With Make Up On.
Make Up Doesn't Really Change How I Look.
Just A Bit Dark-Eyed.
Eye Make-Up And Cigarettes Form My Edge.
Although It's Sort Of Like The Edge Of A Really Shit Pizza, Where There's No Crunch When You Bite It.
Those Pizzas Make Me Wonder If There's Any Point To Anything At All.

Then I Don't Remember Much Else.

Saturday I Pottered About, Cooking Really Extravagant Meals For Myself.
In The Evening We Went To NJ's Party Which Was Wicked, We All Just Got Really Drunk.
Billy Kept Exchanging Vodka For Haribo With The Children.
I Did Nothing Of The Sort.
I Just Nicked All The Haribo Hearts.
None Of The Adults Looked Impressed When I Went 'Oh Billy, Trust You To Be Sat In The Kid's Room, Legs Akimbo.'

On The Way Home We Got Penalty Warnings.
I Quite Liked It.

Sunday In An Attempt To Clean My House I Smashed A Dinner Plate And Two Vodka Bottles.
Swish.
That Was Sunday, Really.

Nothing Much Has Happened This Week.

Had A Rad Band Practice.

And Tonight I Watched Edward 'Scissorhands', Which Is An Amazing Film.
I Like When He Killed The Bully.
And How Good He Is At Cutting Stuff.
It's Also Hilarious That The Reason He Doesn't Have Proper Hands Is Because His Maker Died The Day He Bought Them For Him.
It's A Pretty Messed Up Film.
He Gets Semi-Raped.

Messy, I'm Sure You Can Imagine.

Err Yeah I'm Bored So I'll Write Again Soon.

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