The TWO Songs I've Decided To Give You Today Are Both By Women But In Very Different Ways.
The First Is A Live Version Of 'Summer In The City' By Regina Spektor, Who I've Been Completely In Love With For At Least A Year Now. This Song Has Lyrics To Match Any Song Ever - It Perfectly Sets Off Really Really Sad With Really Really Funny, Which Is An Enviable Ability.
Listen Out For The Lyric 'And I Did Feel Like Cumming, But I Also Felt Like Crying' In Particular.
Regina Spektor - Summer In The City (Live)
The Second Is 'Bang' From The Yeah Yeah Yeahs' Debut EP.
I'm Knocking Out Rarities Like You Wouldn't Believe Right?
Although You Can Get That EP In Most Decent Independent Music Shops.
This Track Is More Outwardly Offensive Than Regina Spektor's One, The Chorus' Line Is Just 'As A Fuck Son You Suck.'
Apparently When It Was First Released Jo Whiley Played It On Radio 1 Without Realising What Karen O Sings In The Chorus.
John Peel Made Mistakes, But He Was A Character.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Bang
Today's Been A Really Strange Day.
I Woke Up At Like Eleven, But Only Got Out Of Bed At About Half One After Reading Albert Camus' 'The Outsider' For A While.
The Last Line I Read Was 'And It Was Like Giving Four Sharp Knocks At The Door Of Unhappiness.'
It's About A Guy Who Feels No Emotion, Who Then Kills An Arab.
I Think The Cure Wrote 'Killing An Arab' About This Book Actually, Weird That I've Only Just Realised That.
It's Really Interesting Though, I Haven't Decided Yet Just How Pretentious It Is To Read French Mid-20th Century Literature.
So I Woke Up, Sat About For A Bit Doing Nothing At All And Then Wandered Into Town To Open A Bank Account.
I've Never Had A Bank Account, And Feel Far Less Punk Rock For Now Having One.
In The Bank Though, Hilarious Things Happened.
I Sat Down, In A Sort Of, Half-Moon Chair Arrangement Whilst Waiting For My Turn.
The Woman Asked What I Wanted To Do, And Then Said That My Identification Wouldn't Do.
The Old Guy Sat Next To Me Jokingly Said 'Corr, You Want To GIVE Them Money, Not Rob Them!'
I Laughed, And After This Point I Couldn't Put My Headphones Back In As I So Dearly Wished I Could.
'So What Do You Do, Student Are You?'
'Yeah, Yeah.'
'You At The Sixth Form?'
'Yeah.'
'You Local?'
I Choked Down A Laugh. I Knew Farnborough Was The Middle Ages In Disguise, But That Line Summed It Up.
'Yeah, Live Just Down The Road Actually.'
'Nice, Not On That Totlands Estate Do Ya? Fucking Hell....Liberties.'
I Am A Very Anti-Political Person.
I'm So Anti-Politics That I Don't Even Class Myself As An Anarchist Or Nihilist Or Any Of Those Things That Mean You're Anti-Politics. And This Man's Immediate Dive Into A Political Stance Which I Disagreed With Was Very Discomforting.
'So, What Do You Study At College?'
'Psychology...English Language -'
At This Point The Man Interrupted With The Single Most Cliché Question Ever Asked.
'English Language? And, You Don't Pay For That Do You?'
'No, I Don't.'
'And, As A Taxpayer Myself, Why Should I Pay For You To Study English Language?'
At This Point I Must Tell You That My Mood Was Very Much Sour.
The Day Hadn't Been A Good One - I Contemplated Lying In Bed Until It Got Dark Again And Then Just Falling Asleep, Spirits Were Low.
So I Decided That I Was Not Going To Let This Man Get Away With Such Confrontational Ways.
'WELL ONE DAY I AM GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD, AND WHEN I DO I WILL ALLOW YOU TO SAY YOU HAD A PART IN THAT.'
I Did My Sinister Giggle And He Stared For A While.
Then Changed The Subject To Margaret Thatcher.
He Said She Did A Lot Of Good.
I Said I Wasn't Alive But Thought She Was Probably Quite Damaging From What I've Heard.
Then Some Cockney OAP Slut Came In And Started Telling Me I Didn't Know I Was Born.
I Am All Too Aware I Was Born.
I Just Don't Appreciate It Very Much.
Then She Went On About Outdoor Toilets.
I Decided To Just Go All Out Weirdo, Giggling To Myself And Disjointedly Saying 'Some Places Still Don't Even Have Outdoor Toilets, Your Mum Knows How To Make Toffee Does She? I Never Liked Toffee Anyway...'
All Phrases Were Very Much Muttered, I'm An Anti-Confrontation Kind Of Guy Usually.
Then The Guy Was All 'When I Was A Lad Chocolate Was Still Rationed', To Which I Just Outright Said I Didn't Like Chocolate Very Much Anyway.
There's Only So Many Times You Can Laugh In An 'Oh You You're Terrible You Are' Way.
Then They Both Went, The Guy Shook My Hand (?) And The Woman Waved.
Was Well Odd.
My Bank Account Got Sorted Pretty Quick.
I Noticed That There Is An Air Filter Thing At The Back Of The Cash Machine In That NatWest, And Was Wondering How Hard It Could Be To Get In The Air Filter, And Then Just Nick All The Money.
At No Point Did I Contemplate It, But I Definitely Saw How It Was Possible.
Then I Got Out.
I Bought A Bar Of Fruit And Nut Just To Spite That Old Man's Rationed Childhood.
In Response To The Age Old Question 'If You Could Go Back In Time And Meet Someone, Who Would You Meet?' My Answer Has Changed.
I Would Now Go And Meet That Guy, As A Child, With A Fuckload Of Cadbury's And Eat The Fuck Out Of It In His Outdoor Toilet.
Wanker.
Hahahahaha.
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Thursday 21 February 2008
Tuesday 19 February 2008
AND NOW I'M JADED, YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK.
I Chose This Song As My First Download Because It's Sort Of Quite A Lot Like Me In The Way It's Constructed.
What Do I Mean By That Exactly I Wonder...
A Bit French On The Outside But Full Of Dirty Words?
Very Repetitive And A Bit Shy In A Foul Mouthed Way?
Too Vague To Fuck?
Nouvelle Vague - Too Drunk To Fuck
Download It And See For Yourself (Click The Link And Follow The Instructions, It's A Zshare Link.)
Yesterday And Today Have Been Completely Fucked Up.
Yesterday I Did Nothing Until The Evening.
Please Somebody Volunteer To Look After Me In The Daytime, You Can Come Round If You Like.
We Can Have Soda And Cake And Pie...
I DIGRESS.
Anyway, Last Night Me, Jonny, NJ And Dylan Went Out Driving.
It Has Been A Dream Of Mine For Many Years To Go To Compton - I Always See The Sign On The Way To/From Guildford On The Hog's Back And Think 'Shit, That'd Be Such A Funny Place To Visit.'
So We Went There With The Intention Of Going To A Pub In Compton.
One Of The Roads In Compton Was LITERALLY Called 'The Street', And Another 'The Avenue' - Like That Roll Deep Song?
I Know My Obscure Top 40 Hitz...
We Came Across A Pub, Not Far Into The VIllage.
It Was Called, Rather Ominously, 'THE HARROW.'
I Was Really Afraid Of Going In - There Was Nobody In There, And We Walked In To Phil Collins.
Anywhere That Plays Phil Collins I Feel Has An Heir Of Doom About It - It Is By Definition Music To Conduct Surgery To.
So We Walked In And The Barman/Owner Started Talking To Us.
'What Can I Get You? You Guys A Band? Let Me Show You Where I Want You To Play, Would You Play Here In The Summer?'
I Was Very Much Freaked Out.
We Just Wanted A Quiet Drink In Compton, We Didn't Want No Trouble In Compton.
The City Of Compton.
He Started Asking Us What We Sounded Like.
He Was Into 'The Hot Chip.'
We Said We Sounded Like That.
Dylan Added 'Yeah That And The Horrors.'
Which Is Probably More Accurate, But Less Mainstream.
Speaking Of Mainstream, He Said My Hair Was Very Mainstream.
He Then Said I Looked Like A Gay Punk.
Which Is ACTUALLY The Look I Have Forever Aimed For.
He Then Asked His Wife If I Looked Gay.
She Hesitated Then Agreed With Him.
Deep Down She Definitely Wants To Bed Me.
Anyway, The Night Progressed And He Was Giving Us Free Drinks And Free Snacks.
He Was Probably A Really Nice Guy.
He Told Us Of Morocco (Where He Was From) And Late Nights With David Bowie's Manager And Ashlee Simpson.
I Asserted My Masculinity By Saying She Was Hot.
He Didn't Believe I Meant It, It Was Clear From His Non-Committal 'Yeah Man...'
After A Few More Drinks And Stories, He Got All These Instruments Out.
He Bullied Dylan And Jonny Into Playing Them.
He Then Wanted Me To Sing.
He Kept Singing About My White Shoes And Mainstream Hair Do.
That's A Good Rhyme, But He Made Sure It Didn't FLow So Elegantly.
He Was Singing For Ten Minutes To A Blues Backing About HP Sauce, Just Staring At Me And Nodding.
It Was Too Comical For Me, And I Had To Use The Bathroom.
He Probably Thought I Was Masturbating Over Him - I WAS Gay And All...
When I Came Out He Was Still Pestering Me To Sing.
He Was All 'Come On Man, You Can Sing About Anything!'
He Continued To Sing About Beer Glasses And Women Leaving Him And Not Getting Laid And Stuff, It Was Really Odd.
NJ Just Sat There Staring At His Beer As If To Say 'We Don't Deserve This.'
He Then Asked Why I Refused To Sing, To Which I Had The Ultimate Comebackkkkkk.
'WELL, ALL MY MUSICAL HEROES ARE PEOPLE WHO SPEND DAYS OR WEEKS ON THEIR LYRICS, LIKE MORRISSEY OR DAVID BOWIE, AND I THINK IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT THAT LYRICS MEAN SOMETHING TO A PERSON.'
No Reply.
I Owned Him.
By This Point, Him, Drunk Dylan And A Very Afraid Jonny Had Been Jamming For Probably Half An Hour.
It Conjured Images Of The 'Where's Your Head At?' Video - Dissatisfied Monkeys Being Forced To Play Instruments Against Their Own Will.
I Wondered If It Was Really A Good Idea To Come To Compton, And If We Were Ever Going To Leave.
I Kept Thinking Of Alan Partridge Moments That Were Synonymous With MOMENTS I WAS HAVING TO LIVE THROUGH, And He Kept Pestering Me To Sing Until Eventually I Stared At My Watch Just Enough For It To Move To A Reasonably Late Hour.
Upon Our Departure Me And Jonny Instinctually Quoted The Alan Partridge Episode In Which Alan Has A Stalker Who Chases Him.
Jonny Said, To The Guy's 'See You Next Sunday!' 'YOU'LL BE BLOODY LUCKY!'
When We Got In The Car I Shouted 'BLOODY....MENTALIST!'
It Was Classic.
Then We Drove Home And A Drunk Dylan Pondered Over Returning There.
I'm Very Much Against It, I'm Not A Gay Punk Performing Monkey...
Today Was A Very Different State Of Affairs.
I Had To Wake Up At 6am For My Bournemouth University Activity Day.
The Drive Up Was Killah, XFM Died Around Fleet So We Had Radio 1.
They Played 'Please Don't Stop The Music' By Rihanna, And All I Could Think Was 'Ben, I Know You're Tired, But DO NOT Let Your Dad Know You're In Love With Rihanna's Album.'
I Was Tapping Away Like Deuce Bigalow To That Hit...
I Got There A Bit Early.
It Would Appear That I Didn't Get The Memo That Said All Applicants Must Refuse To Brush Their Teeth/Eat A Mint/Obtain Friendly Breath - Literally All The Other Applicants I Spoke To Had Disgusting Breath.
After A Two Hour Car Ride That's Hardly What I Needed - A Reason To Vomit, That Is.
I Had To Write An Essay On A Journalist I Find Very Inspirational.
I Wrote About Jon Savage, Although Technically I Could've Written About John Peel, Who Is Probably The Single Most Influential Man In Music Of The Last 30 Years Who Wasn't A Musician Besides Perhaps Tony Wilson.
FUCK THEY'RE BOTH JOURNALISTS AREN'T THEY?
I Well Should've Written About Tony Wilson...
The Lady Came Round And Asked Me A Bunch Of Questions.
The First Thing I Said To Her Was 'OH NO, There Goes My Individual Status...' In Response To Her Comment That They Already Had A Student There With My Hairstyle.
She Laughed.
She Then Commented That Not Many People My Age Know Who Jon Savage Is, And Very Few Actually Want To Be Music Journalists Any More.
I Said That Was Surprising As I Could Think Of Very Little Else I'd Do Instead.
She Asked If I Had Any Work Experience - She Seemed Proper Up For Making Excuses For Me, I Said I Had None Because However Great The Farnborough College Might Supposedly Be, The Area Is Not.
She Liked That And Said She'd Tick The Box Anyway.
It Felt A Bit Like Falling In Love.
She Then Asked If I Had A Part Time Job.
'Right,' I Thought, 'Here Is Where I Milk The Single-Parentdom That Is My Life. It Finally Comes In Handy After Being An Excuse Only For Delinquency And Low Attendance Rates.'
'I Don't Really Get The Time To Have A Part Time Job, I Go To Live With My Dad At Weekends Up In London.'
'Oh, Sorry, That's Fair Enough.'
YES.
'Do You Go To Gigs With Your Dad? For Some Reason I Have That Feeling.'
'That Is An Odd Instinct, But Yeah I Do A Lot, We Went To See Interpol A Few Months Ago, It Was Amazing.'
'Excellent! Okay And You Write A Blog?'
'Yeah, I'm Just Moving It From MySpace To Blogspot Actually. It's An Awkward Transition.'
'Brilliant. Okay That's Great Ben, Really Great, See You Later.'
THEN RADIO WAS A BIT DULL, I PUT SOME INTERESTING EMPHASES ON WORDS LIKE 'OLYMPIAKOS' AND 'BENITEZ.'
TV Was My Domain.
I Had To Interview A Gurl And Then She Had To Interview Me.
I Asked These Questions:
'What's Your Name Then? Where Are You From? And What Do You Write About In Buckinghamshire? What Other Than The University Do You Like About Bournemouth? And What Do You See Yourself Doing In Twenty Years Time? So, Working At The Mirror, What Would Your Policy On Disgusting Amy Winehouse Pictures?'
Then I Came Back.
Had A Band Practice Which Felt Like It Was Going To Be The End Of Me, We Recorded A New Song HERE
Of Varied Quality.
Had A Quorn Chicken Sandwich And A Coke And Am Now Sat Here, Rather Disgusted By A Guy Who Full On Has My Hair And Cardigan.
I Am Going To Find Myself A Picture Of A Hair Cut And Do It Myself, Probably Tomorrow.
I'm Bored Of Trying To Look Good For Other People, Nobody Really Cares What Anyone Else Looks Like, Let's All Wear Yellow Macs And High Heels.
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What Do I Mean By That Exactly I Wonder...
A Bit French On The Outside But Full Of Dirty Words?
Very Repetitive And A Bit Shy In A Foul Mouthed Way?
Too Vague To Fuck?
Nouvelle Vague - Too Drunk To Fuck
Download It And See For Yourself (Click The Link And Follow The Instructions, It's A Zshare Link.)
Yesterday And Today Have Been Completely Fucked Up.
Yesterday I Did Nothing Until The Evening.
Please Somebody Volunteer To Look After Me In The Daytime, You Can Come Round If You Like.
We Can Have Soda And Cake And Pie...
I DIGRESS.
Anyway, Last Night Me, Jonny, NJ And Dylan Went Out Driving.
It Has Been A Dream Of Mine For Many Years To Go To Compton - I Always See The Sign On The Way To/From Guildford On The Hog's Back And Think 'Shit, That'd Be Such A Funny Place To Visit.'
So We Went There With The Intention Of Going To A Pub In Compton.
One Of The Roads In Compton Was LITERALLY Called 'The Street', And Another 'The Avenue' - Like That Roll Deep Song?
I Know My Obscure Top 40 Hitz...
We Came Across A Pub, Not Far Into The VIllage.
It Was Called, Rather Ominously, 'THE HARROW.'
I Was Really Afraid Of Going In - There Was Nobody In There, And We Walked In To Phil Collins.
Anywhere That Plays Phil Collins I Feel Has An Heir Of Doom About It - It Is By Definition Music To Conduct Surgery To.
So We Walked In And The Barman/Owner Started Talking To Us.
'What Can I Get You? You Guys A Band? Let Me Show You Where I Want You To Play, Would You Play Here In The Summer?'
I Was Very Much Freaked Out.
We Just Wanted A Quiet Drink In Compton, We Didn't Want No Trouble In Compton.
The City Of Compton.
He Started Asking Us What We Sounded Like.
He Was Into 'The Hot Chip.'
We Said We Sounded Like That.
Dylan Added 'Yeah That And The Horrors.'
Which Is Probably More Accurate, But Less Mainstream.
Speaking Of Mainstream, He Said My Hair Was Very Mainstream.
He Then Said I Looked Like A Gay Punk.
Which Is ACTUALLY The Look I Have Forever Aimed For.
He Then Asked His Wife If I Looked Gay.
She Hesitated Then Agreed With Him.
Deep Down She Definitely Wants To Bed Me.
Anyway, The Night Progressed And He Was Giving Us Free Drinks And Free Snacks.
He Was Probably A Really Nice Guy.
He Told Us Of Morocco (Where He Was From) And Late Nights With David Bowie's Manager And Ashlee Simpson.
I Asserted My Masculinity By Saying She Was Hot.
He Didn't Believe I Meant It, It Was Clear From His Non-Committal 'Yeah Man...'
After A Few More Drinks And Stories, He Got All These Instruments Out.
He Bullied Dylan And Jonny Into Playing Them.
He Then Wanted Me To Sing.
He Kept Singing About My White Shoes And Mainstream Hair Do.
That's A Good Rhyme, But He Made Sure It Didn't FLow So Elegantly.
He Was Singing For Ten Minutes To A Blues Backing About HP Sauce, Just Staring At Me And Nodding.
It Was Too Comical For Me, And I Had To Use The Bathroom.
He Probably Thought I Was Masturbating Over Him - I WAS Gay And All...
When I Came Out He Was Still Pestering Me To Sing.
He Was All 'Come On Man, You Can Sing About Anything!'
He Continued To Sing About Beer Glasses And Women Leaving Him And Not Getting Laid And Stuff, It Was Really Odd.
NJ Just Sat There Staring At His Beer As If To Say 'We Don't Deserve This.'
He Then Asked Why I Refused To Sing, To Which I Had The Ultimate Comebackkkkkk.
'WELL, ALL MY MUSICAL HEROES ARE PEOPLE WHO SPEND DAYS OR WEEKS ON THEIR LYRICS, LIKE MORRISSEY OR DAVID BOWIE, AND I THINK IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT THAT LYRICS MEAN SOMETHING TO A PERSON.'
No Reply.
I Owned Him.
By This Point, Him, Drunk Dylan And A Very Afraid Jonny Had Been Jamming For Probably Half An Hour.
It Conjured Images Of The 'Where's Your Head At?' Video - Dissatisfied Monkeys Being Forced To Play Instruments Against Their Own Will.
I Wondered If It Was Really A Good Idea To Come To Compton, And If We Were Ever Going To Leave.
I Kept Thinking Of Alan Partridge Moments That Were Synonymous With MOMENTS I WAS HAVING TO LIVE THROUGH, And He Kept Pestering Me To Sing Until Eventually I Stared At My Watch Just Enough For It To Move To A Reasonably Late Hour.
Upon Our Departure Me And Jonny Instinctually Quoted The Alan Partridge Episode In Which Alan Has A Stalker Who Chases Him.
Jonny Said, To The Guy's 'See You Next Sunday!' 'YOU'LL BE BLOODY LUCKY!'
When We Got In The Car I Shouted 'BLOODY....MENTALIST!'
It Was Classic.
Then We Drove Home And A Drunk Dylan Pondered Over Returning There.
I'm Very Much Against It, I'm Not A Gay Punk Performing Monkey...
Today Was A Very Different State Of Affairs.
I Had To Wake Up At 6am For My Bournemouth University Activity Day.
The Drive Up Was Killah, XFM Died Around Fleet So We Had Radio 1.
They Played 'Please Don't Stop The Music' By Rihanna, And All I Could Think Was 'Ben, I Know You're Tired, But DO NOT Let Your Dad Know You're In Love With Rihanna's Album.'
I Was Tapping Away Like Deuce Bigalow To That Hit...
I Got There A Bit Early.
It Would Appear That I Didn't Get The Memo That Said All Applicants Must Refuse To Brush Their Teeth/Eat A Mint/Obtain Friendly Breath - Literally All The Other Applicants I Spoke To Had Disgusting Breath.
After A Two Hour Car Ride That's Hardly What I Needed - A Reason To Vomit, That Is.
I Had To Write An Essay On A Journalist I Find Very Inspirational.
I Wrote About Jon Savage, Although Technically I Could've Written About John Peel, Who Is Probably The Single Most Influential Man In Music Of The Last 30 Years Who Wasn't A Musician Besides Perhaps Tony Wilson.
FUCK THEY'RE BOTH JOURNALISTS AREN'T THEY?
I Well Should've Written About Tony Wilson...
The Lady Came Round And Asked Me A Bunch Of Questions.
The First Thing I Said To Her Was 'OH NO, There Goes My Individual Status...' In Response To Her Comment That They Already Had A Student There With My Hairstyle.
She Laughed.
She Then Commented That Not Many People My Age Know Who Jon Savage Is, And Very Few Actually Want To Be Music Journalists Any More.
I Said That Was Surprising As I Could Think Of Very Little Else I'd Do Instead.
She Asked If I Had Any Work Experience - She Seemed Proper Up For Making Excuses For Me, I Said I Had None Because However Great The Farnborough College Might Supposedly Be, The Area Is Not.
She Liked That And Said She'd Tick The Box Anyway.
It Felt A Bit Like Falling In Love.
She Then Asked If I Had A Part Time Job.
'Right,' I Thought, 'Here Is Where I Milk The Single-Parentdom That Is My Life. It Finally Comes In Handy After Being An Excuse Only For Delinquency And Low Attendance Rates.'
'I Don't Really Get The Time To Have A Part Time Job, I Go To Live With My Dad At Weekends Up In London.'
'Oh, Sorry, That's Fair Enough.'
YES.
'Do You Go To Gigs With Your Dad? For Some Reason I Have That Feeling.'
'That Is An Odd Instinct, But Yeah I Do A Lot, We Went To See Interpol A Few Months Ago, It Was Amazing.'
'Excellent! Okay And You Write A Blog?'
'Yeah, I'm Just Moving It From MySpace To Blogspot Actually. It's An Awkward Transition.'
'Brilliant. Okay That's Great Ben, Really Great, See You Later.'
THEN RADIO WAS A BIT DULL, I PUT SOME INTERESTING EMPHASES ON WORDS LIKE 'OLYMPIAKOS' AND 'BENITEZ.'
TV Was My Domain.
I Had To Interview A Gurl And Then She Had To Interview Me.
I Asked These Questions:
'What's Your Name Then? Where Are You From? And What Do You Write About In Buckinghamshire? What Other Than The University Do You Like About Bournemouth? And What Do You See Yourself Doing In Twenty Years Time? So, Working At The Mirror, What Would Your Policy On Disgusting Amy Winehouse Pictures?'
Then I Came Back.
Had A Band Practice Which Felt Like It Was Going To Be The End Of Me, We Recorded A New Song HERE
Of Varied Quality.
Had A Quorn Chicken Sandwich And A Coke And Am Now Sat Here, Rather Disgusted By A Guy Who Full On Has My Hair And Cardigan.
I Am Going To Find Myself A Picture Of A Hair Cut And Do It Myself, Probably Tomorrow.
I'm Bored Of Trying To Look Good For Other People, Nobody Really Cares What Anyone Else Looks Like, Let's All Wear Yellow Macs And High Heels.
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Sunday 17 February 2008
A LEGACY SO FAR REMOVED, ONE DAY WILL BE IMPROVED.
I've Watched 'Control' Twice In Two Days.
I Genuinely Think It's The Best Drama Film I've Ever Seen, The Iconography Is Amazing.
Simple Shots Of Sam Riley (Playing Ian Curtis) Lying On A Bed Smoking Whilst Listening To David Bowie Are Somehow Awe-Inspiring.
Everything About It Is Perfect, There's Not A Word That Hasn't Been Thought Over For Hours It Seems, And The Second Time Around You See How His Suicide Is Constantly Hinted At Throughout The Film, With Split Second Sequences Of The Clothes Horse Dropping From The Ceiling And The Like. The Performances Are Insanely Convincing Too, When They First Play 'Transmission' On 'Something Else' It Actually Gave Me The Same Feeling That I Got When I Originally Watched The Real Joy Division Do The Exact Same Performance. If You've Ever So Much As Heard 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' I Think You'd Enjoy It.
This Is My First Post For Nearly Two Weeks, For That I Apologise, It's Not Even That I've Been Distracted.
I Wrote A New Entry On Wednesday And It Disappeared When I Hit The 'Send' Button, And Rather Than Try To Rewrite It I Saw It As A Sign That I Wasn't Meant To Enrich And Serve That Day.
Whenever I Attempt To Rewrite Something After It's Disappeared The Redraft Is Very Much A Dilute Version Of Its Predecessor, Kind Of Like When Gang Of Four Reformed And Re-Recorded 'Entertainment!' At The Age Of About Fifty And Discovered That Post-Punk Should Always Be A Young Person's Game...
BUT I DIGRESS.
THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT A LOT HAS HAPPENED.
My LCC Interview Was A Joke.
I Walked Into The Little Interviewing Room And As I Sat Down The Man Of Questions Asked Me What Made Me Interesting.
I Immediately Retorted 'I Can Do Four Hundred Press Ups.'
Luckily We Shared A Laugh, After Which I Continued To Umm And Ahh.
I Then Did The Whole 'Be Intellectual, Answer A Question With A Question' Thing, And Said 'Well That Depends Entirely On What A Person Sees As Interesting, What Is 'Interesting'?'
He Rephrased The Question:
'What Do You Think Makes You Interesting?'
I Ummed And Ahhed And Erred And Hmmed To No Avail, And Ended Up Saying 'I Have No Idea, What An Excellent Question, I Guess I'm Pretty Average Then.'
Then I Was Asked Who Was Running For The American Presidency, I Only Knew The Two Of Any Interest, Then I Didn't Know Who The Vice-President Of America Is, And Then I Kind Of Wanted To Run Away With One Of The Macs That Were Sitting Behind Me - I Felt Like I Had To Gain Something Beyond A Laugh From My Two Hour Wait.
But I Didn't.
When My Dad Rang Me After It Turned Out That He Didn't Know Who The Vice-President Was Either, And He Used To Work For The Government, So Clearly Nobody Cares.
Mind You, I Do Feel Very Disappointed In Myself For Forgetting This Fella Is The Vice-President....
Hottie.
Then Thursday Involved Lots Of Moping And Eurgh-I-Wish-I-Wasn't-Hideousities.
The Evening Was Good Stuff Though.
Me, Jonny, Geyan And Jason Went Driving.
Seeing As It Was Valloween, I Decided We Had To Make It As Emo And Ironic As Possible.
So, I Was Drinking Alone In The Passenger Seat Of Jonny's Car Whilst DJing Such Classics As 'Cute Without The 'E'', 'The Sound Of Settling' And 'Disco 2000.'
Due To The Subversive Title 'Valloween', We Got On To The Topic Of The Supernatural.
Jonny Spoke Of A Road.
A Road Which, When Driven Down, Supposedly Makes A Face Appear In Your Rear View Mirror As Though Somebody Is Sat In The Middle Back Seat.
So Naturalisch We Drove Down It.
About Half Way Down The Road (Twas A Very Long Road) The Car Got Really Cold.
Geyan Tapped Me On The Shoulder And Asked If I Could See What He Could See On His Watch.
THE HANDS HAD MOVED TO MIDNIGHT AND STOPPED.
Then Immediately After I Noticed That, The Minute Hand Started Spinning, And Didn't Stop Spinning Until We Got Off Of The Road.
It Was So Creepy.
I Found It Amazing And Couldn't Stop Laughing, But The Others Got A Bit Worried That It Was Leading To The Man In The Mirror Business, Which I Don't Blame Them For.
If I'd Had My Sensible Hat On I'd Have No Doubt Suspected The Same.
Oh And Then About An Hour Later I Lost 'Valloween Blind Date' Again.
I Have Never Won.
THEN LAST NIGHT WAS GENIUS.
I'd Been Drinking At Home In Preparation For Going Out.
MSN Means I Wasn't Drinking Alone.
Jonny, Dylan And I (It Felt Right Then) Got The Train At Around Half Past Seven To The Boileroom In Guildford.
It Was The First Time I've Been There On A Saturday Night, I'd Heard It Was Normally Pretty Good.
We Accidentally Went On Screamo Night.
Turns Out This Week Has Been One Whole 'I'm Fourteen And No I Won't Clean My Room Mum, Gosh, I Am Not Your Slave' Experience...
We Met Sam, Chess, Lucy, Simon And Baker There Which Was Good Stuff.
At One Point In The Night Me, Chess And Lucy Got Stuck Talking To This Welsh Noel Fielding Lookalike.
Chess Laughed When He Spoke To Us, Because It Definitely Meant It Wasn't Noel Fielding, But It Looked To The Guy As If Chess Was A Person Of Racial Hatred.
He Was Drunk, And Said Something Like 'I'd Rather Lick My Nan Out Than Live In Wales.'
I Know It Was Screamo Night, But Do People Really Think It's Acceptable To Say Such Things To Female Strangers?
I Escaped On A Technicality - I Needed Another Drink.
Then The Evening Went On In A Similar Style.
A Man There DID Look Exceptionally Like Simon Pegg.
I Am Unsure As To Whether It Actually Was Him, Some People Were Convinced It Was.
Time Will Tell, As He Promised To 'Big Up The Farnborough Massive' Next Time He's On Jonathan Ross.
Sweet.
So Then We Continued Drinking And I Discovered Just How Metal My Hair Is - Me And One Of Rob's Friends Had A Fringe Off.
It Got To The Point Where We Had To Leave To Catch Our Train, So We Did.
This Train Journey Was One Of The Best Ever.
We Got On Our Train, And Dylan Mooned The Platform Opposite Us.
A Woman Noticed, She Laughed, It Was Good Dirty-Window-Making Fun.
Then However, A Group Of Three Middle-Aged Skinheads Noticed.
They Started To Make Wanker Signs At Us.
I Started Flicking V's And Making That Hand Gesture That Means 'Ooh Get You.'
They Started Towards The Underpass, I Originally Didn't Think They Were Coming To Get Us, I Thought Jonny And Dylan Were Making A Bigger Thing Of It Than It Was.
Then Dylan Looked Out Of The Train And Saw Them.
He Looked A Second Time, And They Saw Him.
They Started Towards Us.
All The Time I Was Laughing, I Just Thought They'd Originally Had The Wrong Platform Or Whatever.
But No.
The Tonkest One Got On At The Entrance In Front Of Us, And Was Shouting 'You Think That's Funny Do You? You Picked The Wrong People.'
He Headed Towards Dylan, And I Walked Forward, Pushed Him Back A Little And Said 'Woah Mate, Come On, This Has Got Out Of Hand, Was Just A Laugh Yeah?'
The Other Two Were Present By Now.
One Of Them Was Just As Angry As The First One, But The Other One Was Being Reasonable.
The First Guy Was Clearly Very Angry That I'd Touched Him And Just Kept Snarling, Holding His Fist Up To Me And Moving Closer To Me.
Reasonable Guy Said To Him 'No Don't Mate, It's Him You Want Isn't It?', But He Was Having None Of It.
Not For A While Anyway.
He Punched Me In The Face, And I Immediately Righted Myself And Went 'Sorry What?'
In My Head I Was Thinking, Albeit Drunkenly, 'Just Make This Legendary.'
At That Point I Thought My Nose Was Bleeding.
The Guy That Hit Me Then Went 'Yeah It Was Funny At The Time Wasn't It?'
'It Was Fucking Hilarious Mate.'
Somewhere In Amongst This Chaos Jonny Had Got Headbutted, And Cleverly Sat Down.
Two Guys Still Had Dylan In The Corner, And I Refused To Sit Down Until I Knew We Were All Going To Be Okay, It Sort Of Felt Like They Were Making Us Sit Down To Witness The Complete Death Of Dylan's Face.
But Reasonable Guy Then Said To Me 'If You Sit Down I'll Make Sure This Doesn't Become A Big Thing.'
'Alright Mate.'
I Patted Him On The Back And Sat Down.
They Walked Away And The Guy Who Hit Me Carried On Saying 'It Was A Laugh Was It?'
I Love Situations Like That, Because They Have To Win On A Physical Level, But We Want To Win On A Mental Level, So A Compromise Is Easily Reached.
High On Adrenalin I Had Contemplated Going For The Short Man's Family Jewels, But Figured It Would Be A Much Better Story If I Was Able To Say I'd Said Something Clever.
It Always Is.
I Think They Kept Shouting 'Fucking Students', Which Shows Exactly The Grade Of Meat We Were Dealing With.
It Also Definitely Pissed Them Off That We Were Taller Than Them.
When The Guy Was Growling Up At Me It Was So Tempting To Laugh My Head Off.
And That's It Really.
Music Recommendations:
Transmission - Joy Division
Oh My God - Ida Maria
Too Drunk To Fuck - Nouvelle Vague
Young Love Ft. Laura Marling - Mystery Jets
The Death Of A Digital Alarm Clock - Tubelord
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I Genuinely Think It's The Best Drama Film I've Ever Seen, The Iconography Is Amazing.
Simple Shots Of Sam Riley (Playing Ian Curtis) Lying On A Bed Smoking Whilst Listening To David Bowie Are Somehow Awe-Inspiring.
Everything About It Is Perfect, There's Not A Word That Hasn't Been Thought Over For Hours It Seems, And The Second Time Around You See How His Suicide Is Constantly Hinted At Throughout The Film, With Split Second Sequences Of The Clothes Horse Dropping From The Ceiling And The Like. The Performances Are Insanely Convincing Too, When They First Play 'Transmission' On 'Something Else' It Actually Gave Me The Same Feeling That I Got When I Originally Watched The Real Joy Division Do The Exact Same Performance. If You've Ever So Much As Heard 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' I Think You'd Enjoy It.
This Is My First Post For Nearly Two Weeks, For That I Apologise, It's Not Even That I've Been Distracted.
I Wrote A New Entry On Wednesday And It Disappeared When I Hit The 'Send' Button, And Rather Than Try To Rewrite It I Saw It As A Sign That I Wasn't Meant To Enrich And Serve That Day.
Whenever I Attempt To Rewrite Something After It's Disappeared The Redraft Is Very Much A Dilute Version Of Its Predecessor, Kind Of Like When Gang Of Four Reformed And Re-Recorded 'Entertainment!' At The Age Of About Fifty And Discovered That Post-Punk Should Always Be A Young Person's Game...
BUT I DIGRESS.
THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT A LOT HAS HAPPENED.
My LCC Interview Was A Joke.
I Walked Into The Little Interviewing Room And As I Sat Down The Man Of Questions Asked Me What Made Me Interesting.
I Immediately Retorted 'I Can Do Four Hundred Press Ups.'
Luckily We Shared A Laugh, After Which I Continued To Umm And Ahh.
I Then Did The Whole 'Be Intellectual, Answer A Question With A Question' Thing, And Said 'Well That Depends Entirely On What A Person Sees As Interesting, What Is 'Interesting'?'
He Rephrased The Question:
'What Do You Think Makes You Interesting?'
I Ummed And Ahhed And Erred And Hmmed To No Avail, And Ended Up Saying 'I Have No Idea, What An Excellent Question, I Guess I'm Pretty Average Then.'
Then I Was Asked Who Was Running For The American Presidency, I Only Knew The Two Of Any Interest, Then I Didn't Know Who The Vice-President Of America Is, And Then I Kind Of Wanted To Run Away With One Of The Macs That Were Sitting Behind Me - I Felt Like I Had To Gain Something Beyond A Laugh From My Two Hour Wait.
But I Didn't.
When My Dad Rang Me After It Turned Out That He Didn't Know Who The Vice-President Was Either, And He Used To Work For The Government, So Clearly Nobody Cares.
Mind You, I Do Feel Very Disappointed In Myself For Forgetting This Fella Is The Vice-President....
Hottie.
Then Thursday Involved Lots Of Moping And Eurgh-I-Wish-I-Wasn't-Hideousities.
The Evening Was Good Stuff Though.
Me, Jonny, Geyan And Jason Went Driving.
Seeing As It Was Valloween, I Decided We Had To Make It As Emo And Ironic As Possible.
So, I Was Drinking Alone In The Passenger Seat Of Jonny's Car Whilst DJing Such Classics As 'Cute Without The 'E'', 'The Sound Of Settling' And 'Disco 2000.'
Due To The Subversive Title 'Valloween', We Got On To The Topic Of The Supernatural.
Jonny Spoke Of A Road.
A Road Which, When Driven Down, Supposedly Makes A Face Appear In Your Rear View Mirror As Though Somebody Is Sat In The Middle Back Seat.
So Naturalisch We Drove Down It.
About Half Way Down The Road (Twas A Very Long Road) The Car Got Really Cold.
Geyan Tapped Me On The Shoulder And Asked If I Could See What He Could See On His Watch.
THE HANDS HAD MOVED TO MIDNIGHT AND STOPPED.
Then Immediately After I Noticed That, The Minute Hand Started Spinning, And Didn't Stop Spinning Until We Got Off Of The Road.
It Was So Creepy.
I Found It Amazing And Couldn't Stop Laughing, But The Others Got A Bit Worried That It Was Leading To The Man In The Mirror Business, Which I Don't Blame Them For.
If I'd Had My Sensible Hat On I'd Have No Doubt Suspected The Same.
Oh And Then About An Hour Later I Lost 'Valloween Blind Date' Again.
I Have Never Won.
THEN LAST NIGHT WAS GENIUS.
I'd Been Drinking At Home In Preparation For Going Out.
MSN Means I Wasn't Drinking Alone.
Jonny, Dylan And I (It Felt Right Then) Got The Train At Around Half Past Seven To The Boileroom In Guildford.
It Was The First Time I've Been There On A Saturday Night, I'd Heard It Was Normally Pretty Good.
We Accidentally Went On Screamo Night.
Turns Out This Week Has Been One Whole 'I'm Fourteen And No I Won't Clean My Room Mum, Gosh, I Am Not Your Slave' Experience...
We Met Sam, Chess, Lucy, Simon And Baker There Which Was Good Stuff.
At One Point In The Night Me, Chess And Lucy Got Stuck Talking To This Welsh Noel Fielding Lookalike.
Chess Laughed When He Spoke To Us, Because It Definitely Meant It Wasn't Noel Fielding, But It Looked To The Guy As If Chess Was A Person Of Racial Hatred.
He Was Drunk, And Said Something Like 'I'd Rather Lick My Nan Out Than Live In Wales.'
I Know It Was Screamo Night, But Do People Really Think It's Acceptable To Say Such Things To Female Strangers?
I Escaped On A Technicality - I Needed Another Drink.
Then The Evening Went On In A Similar Style.
A Man There DID Look Exceptionally Like Simon Pegg.
I Am Unsure As To Whether It Actually Was Him, Some People Were Convinced It Was.
Time Will Tell, As He Promised To 'Big Up The Farnborough Massive' Next Time He's On Jonathan Ross.
Sweet.
So Then We Continued Drinking And I Discovered Just How Metal My Hair Is - Me And One Of Rob's Friends Had A Fringe Off.
It Got To The Point Where We Had To Leave To Catch Our Train, So We Did.
This Train Journey Was One Of The Best Ever.
We Got On Our Train, And Dylan Mooned The Platform Opposite Us.
A Woman Noticed, She Laughed, It Was Good Dirty-Window-Making Fun.
Then However, A Group Of Three Middle-Aged Skinheads Noticed.
They Started To Make Wanker Signs At Us.
I Started Flicking V's And Making That Hand Gesture That Means 'Ooh Get You.'
They Started Towards The Underpass, I Originally Didn't Think They Were Coming To Get Us, I Thought Jonny And Dylan Were Making A Bigger Thing Of It Than It Was.
Then Dylan Looked Out Of The Train And Saw Them.
He Looked A Second Time, And They Saw Him.
They Started Towards Us.
All The Time I Was Laughing, I Just Thought They'd Originally Had The Wrong Platform Or Whatever.
But No.
The Tonkest One Got On At The Entrance In Front Of Us, And Was Shouting 'You Think That's Funny Do You? You Picked The Wrong People.'
He Headed Towards Dylan, And I Walked Forward, Pushed Him Back A Little And Said 'Woah Mate, Come On, This Has Got Out Of Hand, Was Just A Laugh Yeah?'
The Other Two Were Present By Now.
One Of Them Was Just As Angry As The First One, But The Other One Was Being Reasonable.
The First Guy Was Clearly Very Angry That I'd Touched Him And Just Kept Snarling, Holding His Fist Up To Me And Moving Closer To Me.
Reasonable Guy Said To Him 'No Don't Mate, It's Him You Want Isn't It?', But He Was Having None Of It.
Not For A While Anyway.
He Punched Me In The Face, And I Immediately Righted Myself And Went 'Sorry What?'
In My Head I Was Thinking, Albeit Drunkenly, 'Just Make This Legendary.'
At That Point I Thought My Nose Was Bleeding.
The Guy That Hit Me Then Went 'Yeah It Was Funny At The Time Wasn't It?'
'It Was Fucking Hilarious Mate.'
Somewhere In Amongst This Chaos Jonny Had Got Headbutted, And Cleverly Sat Down.
Two Guys Still Had Dylan In The Corner, And I Refused To Sit Down Until I Knew We Were All Going To Be Okay, It Sort Of Felt Like They Were Making Us Sit Down To Witness The Complete Death Of Dylan's Face.
But Reasonable Guy Then Said To Me 'If You Sit Down I'll Make Sure This Doesn't Become A Big Thing.'
'Alright Mate.'
I Patted Him On The Back And Sat Down.
They Walked Away And The Guy Who Hit Me Carried On Saying 'It Was A Laugh Was It?'
I Love Situations Like That, Because They Have To Win On A Physical Level, But We Want To Win On A Mental Level, So A Compromise Is Easily Reached.
High On Adrenalin I Had Contemplated Going For The Short Man's Family Jewels, But Figured It Would Be A Much Better Story If I Was Able To Say I'd Said Something Clever.
It Always Is.
I Think They Kept Shouting 'Fucking Students', Which Shows Exactly The Grade Of Meat We Were Dealing With.
It Also Definitely Pissed Them Off That We Were Taller Than Them.
When The Guy Was Growling Up At Me It Was So Tempting To Laugh My Head Off.
And That's It Really.
Music Recommendations:
Transmission - Joy Division
Oh My God - Ida Maria
Too Drunk To Fuck - Nouvelle Vague
Young Love Ft. Laura Marling - Mystery Jets
The Death Of A Digital Alarm Clock - Tubelord
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