Sunday 17 February 2008

A LEGACY SO FAR REMOVED, ONE DAY WILL BE IMPROVED.

I've Watched 'Control' Twice In Two Days.
I Genuinely Think It's The Best Drama Film I've Ever Seen, The Iconography Is Amazing.
Simple Shots Of Sam Riley (Playing Ian Curtis) Lying On A Bed Smoking Whilst Listening To David Bowie Are Somehow Awe-Inspiring.
Everything About It Is Perfect, There's Not A Word That Hasn't Been Thought Over For Hours It Seems, And The Second Time Around You See How His Suicide Is Constantly Hinted At Throughout The Film, With Split Second Sequences Of The Clothes Horse Dropping From The Ceiling And The Like. The Performances Are Insanely Convincing Too, When They First Play 'Transmission' On 'Something Else' It Actually Gave Me The Same Feeling That I Got When I Originally Watched The Real Joy Division Do The Exact Same Performance. If You've Ever So Much As Heard 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' I Think You'd Enjoy It.

This Is My First Post For Nearly Two Weeks, For That I Apologise, It's Not Even That I've Been Distracted.
I Wrote A New Entry On Wednesday And It Disappeared When I Hit The 'Send' Button, And Rather Than Try To Rewrite It I Saw It As A Sign That I Wasn't Meant To Enrich And Serve That Day.
Whenever I Attempt To Rewrite Something After It's Disappeared The Redraft Is Very Much A Dilute Version Of Its Predecessor, Kind Of Like When Gang Of Four Reformed And Re-Recorded 'Entertainment!' At The Age Of About Fifty And Discovered That Post-Punk Should Always Be A Young Person's Game...

BUT I DIGRESS.

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT A LOT HAS HAPPENED.
My LCC Interview Was A Joke.
I Walked Into The Little Interviewing Room And As I Sat Down The Man Of Questions Asked Me What Made Me Interesting.
I Immediately Retorted 'I Can Do Four Hundred Press Ups.'
Luckily We Shared A Laugh, After Which I Continued To Umm And Ahh.
I Then Did The Whole 'Be Intellectual, Answer A Question With A Question' Thing, And Said 'Well That Depends Entirely On What A Person Sees As Interesting, What Is 'Interesting'?'
He Rephrased The Question:
'What Do You Think Makes You Interesting?'
I Ummed And Ahhed And Erred And Hmmed To No Avail, And Ended Up Saying 'I Have No Idea, What An Excellent Question, I Guess I'm Pretty Average Then.'
Then I Was Asked Who Was Running For The American Presidency, I Only Knew The Two Of Any Interest, Then I Didn't Know Who The Vice-President Of America Is, And Then I Kind Of Wanted To Run Away With One Of The Macs That Were Sitting Behind Me - I Felt Like I Had To Gain Something Beyond A Laugh From My Two Hour Wait.
But I Didn't.
When My Dad Rang Me After It Turned Out That He Didn't Know Who The Vice-President Was Either, And He Used To Work For The Government, So Clearly Nobody Cares.
Mind You, I Do Feel Very Disappointed In Myself For Forgetting This Fella Is The Vice-President....

Photobucket

Hottie.

Then Thursday Involved Lots Of Moping And Eurgh-I-Wish-I-Wasn't-Hideousities.
The Evening Was Good Stuff Though.
Me, Jonny, Geyan And Jason Went Driving.
Seeing As It Was Valloween, I Decided We Had To Make It As Emo And Ironic As Possible.
So, I Was Drinking Alone In The Passenger Seat Of Jonny's Car Whilst DJing Such Classics As 'Cute Without The 'E'', 'The Sound Of Settling' And 'Disco 2000.'
Due To The Subversive Title 'Valloween', We Got On To The Topic Of The Supernatural.
Jonny Spoke Of A Road.
A Road Which, When Driven Down, Supposedly Makes A Face Appear In Your Rear View Mirror As Though Somebody Is Sat In The Middle Back Seat.
So Naturalisch We Drove Down It.
About Half Way Down The Road (Twas A Very Long Road) The Car Got Really Cold.
Geyan Tapped Me On The Shoulder And Asked If I Could See What He Could See On His Watch.
THE HANDS HAD MOVED TO MIDNIGHT AND STOPPED.
Then Immediately After I Noticed That, The Minute Hand Started Spinning, And Didn't Stop Spinning Until We Got Off Of The Road.
It Was So Creepy.
I Found It Amazing And Couldn't Stop Laughing, But The Others Got A Bit Worried That It Was Leading To The Man In The Mirror Business, Which I Don't Blame Them For.
If I'd Had My Sensible Hat On I'd Have No Doubt Suspected The Same.
Oh And Then About An Hour Later I Lost 'Valloween Blind Date' Again.
I Have Never Won.

THEN LAST NIGHT WAS GENIUS.
I'd Been Drinking At Home In Preparation For Going Out.
MSN Means I Wasn't Drinking Alone.
Jonny, Dylan And I (It Felt Right Then) Got The Train At Around Half Past Seven To The Boileroom In Guildford.
It Was The First Time I've Been There On A Saturday Night, I'd Heard It Was Normally Pretty Good.
We Accidentally Went On Screamo Night.
Turns Out This Week Has Been One Whole 'I'm Fourteen And No I Won't Clean My Room Mum, Gosh, I Am Not Your Slave' Experience...
We Met Sam, Chess, Lucy, Simon And Baker There Which Was Good Stuff.
At One Point In The Night Me, Chess And Lucy Got Stuck Talking To This Welsh Noel Fielding Lookalike.
Chess Laughed When He Spoke To Us, Because It Definitely Meant It Wasn't Noel Fielding, But It Looked To The Guy As If Chess Was A Person Of Racial Hatred.
He Was Drunk, And Said Something Like 'I'd Rather Lick My Nan Out Than Live In Wales.'
I Know It Was Screamo Night, But Do People Really Think It's Acceptable To Say Such Things To Female Strangers?
I Escaped On A Technicality - I Needed Another Drink.

Then The Evening Went On In A Similar Style.
A Man There DID Look Exceptionally Like Simon Pegg.
I Am Unsure As To Whether It Actually Was Him, Some People Were Convinced It Was.
Time Will Tell, As He Promised To 'Big Up The Farnborough Massive' Next Time He's On Jonathan Ross.
Sweet.

So Then We Continued Drinking And I Discovered Just How Metal My Hair Is - Me And One Of Rob's Friends Had A Fringe Off.
It Got To The Point Where We Had To Leave To Catch Our Train, So We Did.

This Train Journey Was One Of The Best Ever.
We Got On Our Train, And Dylan Mooned The Platform Opposite Us.
A Woman Noticed, She Laughed, It Was Good Dirty-Window-Making Fun.
Then However, A Group Of Three Middle-Aged Skinheads Noticed.
They Started To Make Wanker Signs At Us.
I Started Flicking V's And Making That Hand Gesture That Means 'Ooh Get You.'
They Started Towards The Underpass, I Originally Didn't Think They Were Coming To Get Us, I Thought Jonny And Dylan Were Making A Bigger Thing Of It Than It Was.
Then Dylan Looked Out Of The Train And Saw Them.
He Looked A Second Time, And They Saw Him.
They Started Towards Us.
All The Time I Was Laughing, I Just Thought They'd Originally Had The Wrong Platform Or Whatever.
But No.
The Tonkest One Got On At The Entrance In Front Of Us, And Was Shouting 'You Think That's Funny Do You? You Picked The Wrong People.'
He Headed Towards Dylan, And I Walked Forward, Pushed Him Back A Little And Said 'Woah Mate, Come On, This Has Got Out Of Hand, Was Just A Laugh Yeah?'
The Other Two Were Present By Now.
One Of Them Was Just As Angry As The First One, But The Other One Was Being Reasonable.
The First Guy Was Clearly Very Angry That I'd Touched Him And Just Kept Snarling, Holding His Fist Up To Me And Moving Closer To Me.
Reasonable Guy Said To Him 'No Don't Mate, It's Him You Want Isn't It?', But He Was Having None Of It.
Not For A While Anyway.
He Punched Me In The Face, And I Immediately Righted Myself And Went 'Sorry What?'
In My Head I Was Thinking, Albeit Drunkenly, 'Just Make This Legendary.'
At That Point I Thought My Nose Was Bleeding.
The Guy That Hit Me Then Went 'Yeah It Was Funny At The Time Wasn't It?'
'It Was Fucking Hilarious Mate.'
Somewhere In Amongst This Chaos Jonny Had Got Headbutted, And Cleverly Sat Down.
Two Guys Still Had Dylan In The Corner, And I Refused To Sit Down Until I Knew We Were All Going To Be Okay, It Sort Of Felt Like They Were Making Us Sit Down To Witness The Complete Death Of Dylan's Face.
But Reasonable Guy Then Said To Me 'If You Sit Down I'll Make Sure This Doesn't Become A Big Thing.'
'Alright Mate.'
I Patted Him On The Back And Sat Down.
They Walked Away And The Guy Who Hit Me Carried On Saying 'It Was A Laugh Was It?'
I Love Situations Like That, Because They Have To Win On A Physical Level, But We Want To Win On A Mental Level, So A Compromise Is Easily Reached.
High On Adrenalin I Had Contemplated Going For The Short Man's Family Jewels, But Figured It Would Be A Much Better Story If I Was Able To Say I'd Said Something Clever.
It Always Is.

I Think They Kept Shouting 'Fucking Students', Which Shows Exactly The Grade Of Meat We Were Dealing With.
It Also Definitely Pissed Them Off That We Were Taller Than Them.
When The Guy Was Growling Up At Me It Was So Tempting To Laugh My Head Off.

And That's It Really.

Music Recommendations:

Transmission - Joy Division
Oh My God - Ida Maria
Too Drunk To Fuck - Nouvelle Vague
Young Love Ft. Laura Marling - Mystery Jets
The Death Of A Digital Alarm Clock - Tubelord

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